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The hardest thing for us human beings to do is CHANGE. Even if the behavior we constantly engage in is NOT natural, and even if it's harmful for us, such as overeating, it is tormenting for us to stop our habits.
That's because we get a short term emotional gain by our habits, and we always make decisions based on our emotions at the moment. At the MOMENT of our decision, the EMOTION warps our logic. So we'll eat the cake now and worry about it later. Because we're stressed out NOW and it helps us relax NOW.
What does all this have to do with being successful with women?
If you see an attractive woman, if you cannot destroy the source of the fear, you will allow the fear to prevent you from going up to her, even though you know you should! Because at the MOMENT, the only thing that counts is the FEAR. And NOT GOING up will provide you with instant relaxation, albeit temporary.
In order to be successful with women, you have to COMPLETELY ABANDON many old die-hard habits. In addition to the habits, you actually have to abandon and destroy many BELIEFS and FEARS that you had, beliefs that you have been FLOODED with since the day you were BORN.
Even though these old beliefs you had are based on LIES or MISUNDERSTANDINGS, and even though these old beliefs and habits are HARMING you, it's DIFFICULT to abandon them because they are all you know. Without them, it's like you are suddenly without any way to look at the world, until you soak in the new understanding.
In the meantime, it's like somebody has pulled the floor out from under you.
For every man who truly struggles to attract women, and then eventually finds success in this area of his life, there is a DEFINING MOMENT: Whether it stems from unbearable loneliness, rage, jealousy, or a combination of these emotions, there comes a threshold, a point where something just clicks inside the mind and says NO MORE. NO MORE pain, no more loneliness, no more jealousy, no more mockery.
And sometimes, even THIS massive commitment is NOT enough, if he cannot find the KNOWLEDGE necessary for success. Success with women requires COMMITMENT PLUS KNOWLEDGE.
The most eerie feeling swept over me once I finally learned all the things it takes to be successful with women: I had actually SEEN and HEARD and OBSERVED the "answers" to all my questions long before I started searching for them, yet I had been COMPLETELY BLIND AND DEAF to these ideas since they went against my perception of the world.
I had made sure to not actually BELIEVE any of it, since it CONTRADICTED everything I had learned about women since I was a kid, from TV, movies, my parents, friends, etc. It was only by going through what seemed like endless mockery, abuse, loneliness and heartache, that I got to the point that I became angry enough and lonely enough to do ANYTHING to change my circumstances with women. And as I began re-observing things, such as the men who WERE successful with women, and as I began reading and studying evolutionary psychology, suddenly it was like HOW COME I NEVER BELIEVED THIS STUFF, HOW COME I NEVER NOTICED THIS STUFF BEFORE?!!
It actually seemed OBVIOUS to me at that point.
The reason why it now suddenly seemed so clear was because I was no longer bound by ANYTHING - no old beliefs, no old habits, nothing. I was finally convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that everything I thought about women before was definitely not helping me, so it must have been wrong, and thus I was finally ready to accept NEW INFORMATION.
Let me give you a few examples of some ideas I used to have about women:
I used to think that women really liked nice guys, because I always heard women complaining about jerks.
I also thought that women didn't care about how you dressed, how you groomed, etc. I thought glasses were a sign of not being vain, and that women appreciated this. After all, women wanted a man who was not superficial, right?
I was humble and modest, thinking that women all knew that behind Clark Kent was Superman.
I thought women appreciated compliments, because every damn book I read said to compliment women.
Boy, all that was a crock of you-know-what.
But my point is, I kept getting MOWED OVER and kept CRASHING like crazy with every woman I met, NEVER questioning my beliefs.....that is, until it just became TOO MUCH TO BEAR. In that MOMENT, something AWESOME happened: There was a DEATH.
And there was a REBIRTH.
The old Michael was dead. I finally tossed away all those old beliefs I had about women which were keeping me down. They crumbled to the ground, left behind forever. And in their place, rising from the ashes, came a whole new person, ironically, the person I TRULY was, my real self- the self that not only didn't WANT to take abuse from women, but simply never WOULD take that abuse again.
I looked at the world with new eyes, no longer biased by the misinformation in which I was once immersed. And I was finally ready to take advantage of the life changing knowledge around me.
But all this would never have happened had I not been at that point, emotionally, where I was READY to accept NEW IDEAS. If you want to be successful with women, then you must be ready to see new perspectives.
If you are you FED UP COMPLETELY with the results that you have been getting, whether it's a relationship where you are not being appreciated, or where you are taking abuse, or whether you are FED UP with being turned down by women, THERE IS A WAY OUT OF THIS MESS.
But you HAVE TO BE READY TO COMMIT YOURSELF TO A NEW WAY OF DOING THINGS. Here are just a few ideas to keep in mind:
You are going to have to STOP pursuing or thinking about any ONE particular woman, no matter how "special" you may THINK she is. (She's not.)
You are going to have to STOP behaving with women as if they are doing YOU a favor by being with you, and that means not taking abuse.
You are going to have to STOP thinking that women are non-sexual beings, and that means you should do your best to look your best- work out, brush your teeth to keep 'em white, have fresh breath, wear stylish clothes.
You are going to have to STOP talking to women as if they are fragile little children or as if they are immaculate perfect beings with no sense of sexuality.
You are going to have to STOP falling for all their games, dramatic behavior, and attempts to control you through your fear of losing them.
You are going to have to STOP getting emotional when women try to make you angry, sad, or upset.
These are all tests by women, and you will FALL right into the trap by getting all worked up. And you are going to have to STOP basing ANY of
your behaviors and decisions on FEAR- whether it's fear of losing a woman, fear of being lonely, fear of a woman cheating on you. Women sense your fears, and they will interpret all of them as signs of weakness.
You are going to have to START being a whole lot more casual and cavalier when you are speaking to women, especially a woman you have just met. Pretend she is just one of thousands of women you have gone out with. You are going to have to START behaving in a way that says "Women WANT ME, and I have NOTHING to be afraid of, and if a woman is not treating me damn well, then she's got problems and she's OUT."
And you are going to have to START to realize that women DESIRE a man who is BEYOND their control, beyond their attempts to make him do anything, or to make him upset. If you are ready to burn your old submissive ways, you can rise from the ashes, to be reborn as the MAN you were always MEANT to be with women.
If you want to learn to do this, then I recommend you read my ebook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women. I focus on how to succeed with women by getting you back to your natural masculine self. I'm not a fan of tricks and techniques for getting women, I AM a believer in attracting women by being the man you were born to be.
I also show you step by step how to go about approaching a woman, how to get numbers and emails, how to go about dating, and I also explain the best way to smoothly make the transition to getting physical. And there is a special section on relationships if you desire to pursue one and make it last while keeping it exciting and fresh.
You can begin reading this important information within MINUTES of now.
To download the eBook, just go to:
Over the course of one million years, man has adapted and evolved powerful strategies for attracting women. Now, you can learn them all in just a few hours of reading and practice.
Make the decision to become more successful with women NOW. You really can have success with women- the choice is now in your hands.
Till next time...
From someone who's been there,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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