One of the most powerful tools in your success with women will be your ability to REFRAME any situation so that it empowers you.
When it came to my perceptions about women, I used to have a huge problem doing this, because I figured to myself that there could only be ONE REALITY- and that it was the one I was experiencing and the one that I thought was true.
And to try to change my frame or perspective would be like trying to fool myself.
Man, as human beings, sometimes we really are masochistic.
Well, the CRAZY thing is that actually the “real” reality was something I was OBLIVIOUS TO, and the ARTIFICIAL REALITY, the one I was brainwashed into believing, was the one I THOUGHT was “true”. And there I was, sticking to an artificial concept that I FELT was true, and therefore suffering all the consequences of believing it was true.
When I originally went through endless pain with women, I used to honestly think that life was hell. THAT was because I had subscribed to the “Disney” frame of how women are.
I used to think that NOTHING on earth could ever change the way I felt.
Well, looking back, I have to admit it was not a pretty experience, but then again, had it NOT been for that, I probably would have NEVER become so COMPLETELY MOTIVATED AND DEDICATED to figuring this stuff out.
PAIN is a very powerful motivator, I assure you. It’s a great survival instinct.
I look back to all those times and the memory serves me well, to KEEP ME ON TRACK.
So in some ways, I look at my past as the GREATEST learning lesson of my life. Thanks to all that, I am now better with women than most people would probably think is humanly possible.
And in fact ANYONE can learn this, as I teach it and witness students first hand. Not only myself, but students are benefiting from my experience.
How’s that for a REFRAME?
If you’ve really been through hell and back with women, you can take all that emotion and let it serve you productively as you FOCUS FULLY on what DOES WORK.
Allow me to continue our exploration of THE FRAME.
There are so many guys out there pushing this technique and that technique, and it’s simply a MISGUIDED effort. You will not become THE MAN by simply learning TECHNIQUES.
What you must learn to do even more importantly is to PERCEIVE WOMEN DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU HAVE UNTIL NOW.
Think about it.
Obviously, the current perception most guys have is INCORRECT. If it WAS correct, they would all be getting the results they want, or at least they would know exactly what they were doing wrong. So I challenge you to START becoming THE MAN by REFRAMING all the situations you find yourself in with women.
For example, you see a woman reading a book in the library or bookstore. Is your frame “She’s busy”? Have you already brainwashed yourself into thinking it’s over before it even started?
And let’s say you DO go up to her and start chatting, and she seems not interested. Are you FRAMING that as meaning you are a loser? Or that she is a bitch? Are are you FRAMING that as meaning that all you need to do is work on improving your content, your body language, your tonality, etc?
Hey, here’s something for you to help you REFRAME certain situations:
Imagine you are an attractive woman. You get hit on TONS of times a day. You simply CANNOT spend time talking to every guy, especially when most guys are NOT cool!!!!!!!
And even if you DID spend the time out of being charitable, you’d quickly be labeled a slut! So have a bit of perspective on what life is like for women too. They HAVE to put up some kind of shield or they would spend all day talking to every dumbass and also being labeled sluts. So even if that shield means shutting out some worthy guys, they have no choice.
THINK about that before approaching a woman, keep it in mind when you are chatting with a woman. Use it to motivate yourself to UP your SKILL.
If you are in a library where every person in a five mile radius can hear your every WHISPER to her, maybe it’s not a good idea to chat about your porn collection to her- it might make her feel uncomfortable in front of everyone else. Alone however, and she might be FINE with that and even laugh her head off.
Think about the things you are DOING when you talk to women.
For example, let’s say you are smiling a lot because some dude told you “smiling” is good, and he told you “women like guys who smile”. And maybe if you had a videotape of the whole event, you’d then see that you looked like you were a little underling smiling and begging for her approval.
And then you’d NEVER do that again. (I’m not saying to never smile by the way, but to be weary of WHY you are doing it.) If a REALLY HOT woman asked you to do her a “favor”, would you get upset and view it as a threat or would you view it as her wanting to see what kind of man you were?
And if a woman was teasing you, would you get UPSET, or realize that instead this was actually a sign of her WANTING you? Hint: Women don’t tease guys that they don’t want to talk to!!!!!! And when a guy gets pissed off in response, he is in effect telling a woman who actually LIKES him to go to hell.
And this is just the TIP of the REFRAME ICEBERG.
The truth is that at a very deep level, EVERYTHING regarding success with women involves CHANGING your ENTIRE PARADIGM of reality.
And if you haven’t downloaded my eBook yet, then do that immediately. This book is the foundation, where it all starts.
Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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