There's a HUGE issue I want to clear up, and I believe this is one of the most important yet misunderstood things about sexual attraction.
From the very beginning, I've been the guy who said to be THE MAN and you don't have to worry about being a clown or making bunnies appear from hats.
On one hand, my message is very simple. On the other hand, BECOMING THIS KIND OF PERSON takes massive COMMITMENT to your "inner game", the way you think about things, the way you feel about yourself, the way you live your life. You must take responsibility and be very choosy in your actions and even your THOUGHTS.
When you learn to unleash your NATURAL personality - the one you had before you were "brainwashed", and when you learn to unleash your masculinity, you will be operating at a level BEYOND the conscious.
There is no need for "games" because at a subconscious level, you are ALREADY making a woman feel the most powerful emotions NATURALLY.
Okay, so what exactly IS this great misunderstanding that guys are making about sexual attraction?
Well, on one hand, you hear a lot about making sure that you are not needy, and you hear a lot about how that means you should come across as not kissing up, and behaving aloof, indifferent, etc.
But I see a LOT of guys misunderstanding this little bit of advice. You see, not being needy does NOT mean acting as if you have no sexual desire to be with a woman.
It does NOT mean having a weak focus on what you want.
It does NOT mean being asexual.
It's very common for guys to come across as very ROBOTIC in an effort to be "not needy"- I see this stuff happening in workshops and bootcamps all the time. Once the robotic tonality, body language, and behaviorisms are corrected and vaporized from the guys' inner systems, there are IMMEDIATELY SERIOUS IMPROVEMENTS in the reactions from women.
This is NOT manipulation.
This is IMPROVING YOUR INNER SELF and UNLEASHING your natural masculine identity.
It's OKAY for a woman to know you want her, as long as it's coming from the frame of you wanting her in a NON WUSS way.
In fact, you should FOCUS that energy of desire as added fuel for your CONFIDENCE.
I've always found that I have had far better results with women I was actually attracted to than women that I was not, and I believe the reason for this is BECAUSE they can sense BOTH my "aura" AND the fact that I like them, and that I mean it and will act upon my feelings. They can "detect" my intent, and they can also detect that I MEAN BUSINESS, in a good way, and that's a GOOD thing.
In other words, although I may be teasing a woman verbally in a fun way, she can also detect the subtle message that I am in fact not just teasing, that I mean business, but that I am being PLAYFUL and FUN about it.
I'm not there to confuse them that I want to be their "friend"!!!! But that doesn't mean that I won't have some fun teasing teasing them about it, that they just don't qualify to be more than a friend with me.
Again, this is done in a fun challenging way that actually, SUBCONSCIOUSLY, is saying:
"I kinda like you, but I like to enjoy the process, and by the way I have high standards because of who I am, and I'm not that easy to get, which means this is gonna be fun and exciting for you to try to win me over".
Again, I can see how the idea of "it's okay for a woman to know you want her" can be TOTALLY MISUNDERSTOOD.
I'm NOT saying to DIRECTLY TELL HER THIS.
But I AM SAYING that having a strong focus on wanting a woman is GOOD, AND that her detecting this is in fact a good thing.
Do NOT DIRECTLY VERBALIZE your intent. Instead, you communicate your intent through tons of SUBTLETIES. Listen, when you are FEELING something, believe me, it SHOWS.
It shows in your expression and tonality and everything else.
There is no NEED to hide it if you are ALSO feeling super confident in your OWN value. Because, you see, that ALSO shows. Your BELIEF IN YOUR OWN VALUE shows much brighter and louder and clearer than anything you could SAY.
Whatever you are FEELING will NATURALLY show unless you are an expert at covering it up. But why the heck would you cover up your desire unless you thought she would REJECT you?
The MAN doesn't worry about that.
In fact, if you focus on how to handle REJECTION, THAT TOO will show, and it will come across that you are a guy who is focused on losing and therefore a guy who must be inferior.
If she doesn't happen to jump for you, who cares?
The Man just goes for what he wants without apology.
And if a woman doesn't go for it, WHO CARES?
It's still a fun interaction no matter what.
And it's THAT ATTITUDE that is sexy.
So the irony is that the guys who are so worried about a woman's reaction are the ones who get the worst reactions. Because they are SHOWING that they are so concerned about her approval. And THAT shows inferior value.
A woman can sense the aura of THE MAN from a million miles away.
So, to clarify, it's not about DIRECTLY implying to a woman that you like her, and it's not even about "hinting" to her in "subtle" ways that you like her, but it's more like your vibe is a combination of being confident yet warm, and simultaneously dripping with sexuality, and NOT with creepiness.
It's a lot easier to teach and convey all this stuff in person, of course.
But do you get this overall vibe I'm describing?
It's sexual, it's confident, it's warm, it's upbeat, it's decisive, it's challenging, it's leading.
This is all part of the idea of BEING THE MAN.
You don't need to do magic tricks or come across as a real entertainer with no desire for women or for her. In fact, that's a bad idea, ESPECIALLY if you are looking for the kind of women who are looking for more than just "entertainment". And you don't need to put her down.
Instead, bring her UP, up to where YOU are psychologically, and she will not only be attracted, but you will have a high self esteem woman on your hands. And God knows, that's the best kind of woman.
Just because a woman might think you want her, that's not a bad thing. It's a GOOD thing, when coming from the right angle.
If you are coming across as this awesome, non-needy, desirable guy, then the idea of you wanting her is something very APPEALING to her.
It's only bad if she thinks that you want her in a NEEDY way, i.e. falling in love and not even knowing her true personality, etc.
THAT would make you look like a wuss. Actually, that MAKES you a wuss, not just look like one. You're a man. As a single guy, you're allowed to be attracted. And as I said before, it's GOOD for her to feel that you are a MAN. It's just not good for her to feel that you are NEEDY.
And there is a WAY to let a woman know you "kinda like her" while REMAINING an exciting challenge that is still the superior guy who she keeps dreaming of.
Of course, all those things are a huge topic in and of themselves, but for now let's just call those things the way you come across through your attitude, tonality, clothing, humor, and the rest of your personality as well as your understanding of women.
I see a lot of the "dark side of the force" these days when it comes to attracting women. A lot of emphasis from some circles on breaking women's self-esteem down as a tactic.
As I've stated many times, attraction is about superiority, and unfortunately what a lot of guys attempt is they try to tear down a woman' self-esteem to make her feel inferior, and thereby make themselves seem superior in the process.
I think that sucks, really. First of all, it's manipulative and creepy.
Second of all, it's a FACT that using that negative approach will only work on women with low self-esteem. Unfortunately, there are TONS of low self-esteem women, so it often works. But the thing is, low self esteem women are HORRIBLE to be around, and maybe just maybe that's why a lot of these gurus can't seem to be in a relationship for long. Maybe it's time they ditched the negative emphasis.
Thirdly, it's just not NECESSARY!!!!!
There ARE high self-esteem women out there. Yes, they are more rare, but if you've ever met one of these women, you know as well as I do that these women are awesome. They have no need for sick mind games or dishonesty and instead what they ARE attracted to is a guy who is as SECURE and as POWERFUL EMOTIONALLY as they are.
Yes, attraction is about superiority, and the way to achieve that, in my humble opinion, is to be the BEST you can be as opposed to making a woman feel that she is WORSE or LESS than she is.
Be MORE secure.
Be more creative.
Be more fun.
Be more confident.
Be more charming.
Be more challenging.
Be in a SUPERIOR head space.
But ripping apart women's self esteem?
Man, that is sick stuff some guys are doing to women. Don't get me wrong, plenty of women playing sick games on men too, but all this is just for the low self-esteem people.
A high self-esteem person, man or woman, will recognize the negative stuff immediately and walk away or tell the person to f-off. Stay away from that crap, it leads nowhere. The truth is, mastering this positive approach takes a damn strong "inner game".
Like the dark side of the force, it can seem easier to just deal with the low self esteem women (which is a lot of them) or beat down their self-esteem so that you seem superior and they are chasing you.
But this is a Trojan horse that you will be setting on yourself, for you are allowing negative stuff to enter your way of life and it will come back to you when her low self esteem ways start to mess up your life.
Instead, don't be lazy, and work on IMPROVING your inner game to the point where your psychological headspace is a state that women want to be in.
Attraction, when done from this positive angle, is the result of INFINITE SUBTLETIES in your behaviour that ARE SOAKING WITH THE VIBE OF "I AM THE SEXIEST COOLEST MOST DESIRABLE DUDE THIS SIDE OF THE GALAXY".
It comes across in your walk, in your talk, in your humor, your body language, and the way you handle her when she acts up.
If you want to BE this guy, if you want to BE your best self, then you have to become 100 PERCENT FOCUSED on being THE MAN.
That means you don't have this HALF-ASSED attitude toward being successful with women.
When I hear a guy saying "that sounds like too much work" regarding ideas of improving your inner concept, your understanding of women, your sense of humor, your ability to project sexuality - well when a guy says to me that's too much work, I just shake my head, because usually this is the same guy that will spend HOURS every day complaining about women till he is blue in the face, but won't spend five minutes actually applying this stuff for real even ONCE.
Being ONE HUNDRED PERCENT focused also means BLOWING INTO OBLIVION ANY NEGATIVE FRAMES that the media, i.e. the internet, television, or friends, people, ANYONE OR ANYTHING that tries to feed your brain the message that you CAN'T SUCCEED.
There are soooooooooooo MANY negative opinions out there THAT ARE SPREADING FALSEHOODS, especially regarding the idea of men having any power in their dating lives, that it's so easy to slip into the abyss.
The truth is that all that info is usually meant ON PURPOSE to make men feel inferior, because then you'll be scared that you don't have what it takes unless you buy their magazine or watch their show, etc. It's GOOD FOR THEM TO KEEP YOU SCARED AND FEELING INFERIOR because if you ever woke up and realized that it was all lies and that in fact you WERE desirable, they would all go bankrupt.
And even the guys that tell you they are doing it for free, watch out, there is usually a buck in it somewhere, especially if they are creating a negative state in you.
Just be careful if you find yourself in a negative frame of mind just because of someone's OPINION disguised as fact.
Also, a lot of the info is coming from insecure guys who are just looking to get new recruits into their negative thinking club. Plus of course, don't forget the women's media trying to empower women that men are idiots, etc. Although to be honest with you, women's media also makes women insecure too.
Please don't take what I have just said lightly. Chances are that if you have any insecurity right now regarding women, it was something that was IMPLANTED into your head by an IDEA that belonged to SOMEONE ELSE.
And without knowing it, they SNUCK it into your head, those bastards. Really, that's what happened.
So just CHUCK IT ALL AWAY.
For every reason why you think you can't succeed with women, I'll show you a guy with an even MORE EXTREME example of that "reason" who is doing AWESOME with women.
Chuck the negative beliefs away and instead, when you see a woman who catches your attention, you should KNOW INTERNALLY that you WILL get her. It's totally cool if she senses you sexually desire her, especially if she ALSO senses that you believe you are the BEST thing to ever happen to her.
Take all that sexual energy and focus it on POSITIVE emotions, positive beliefs.
You have NO IDEA of how powerful your positive emotions can be not only on a woman, but on YOURSELF.
You will actually FEEL physically more power, more energy, more sexuality, more sharpness of thought, if you adopt a strict "diet" of empowering thoughts only.
And this feeling will seep through your pores and be detected by women, and it will be PROCESSED by women subconsciously and it will trigger attraction.
Do you FEEL me here?
Do get what's going on?
Women WANT cool guys, so BE that guy!!!!
Do her a favour and BE the guy she dreams about!
Finally, 100 percent commitment also means having a GOOD ATTITUDE TOWARD WOMEN.
If you are just in this to get "vengeance" for all the hard times you had in the past, and now you want to "screw women" figuratively with your new found "powers" do yourself a favour and just chill out.
Almost everyone's been hurt before, both male and female. And negative goals really waste your time and energy when you could be furthering your life productively.
Obviously, I am totally against kissing up to women, because that comes from a frame of desperation and inferiority, it's not even psychologically healthy. But you should have a positive attitude toward women in general, that is a WAY better frame to be coming from than anything else.
This is a MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL thing going on here!!! Everyone wins.
If you would like to learn the healthy approach to attraction, without manipulative creepy tactics, I recommend you download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women. Inside, I show you how to get your mind in the right gear, and I explain crucial concepts about how the mind works so that you can use this in your favour. At the same time, this book also explains how to approach women and not trigger their socially programmed defenses that say, "I don't talk to guys".
You will learn how to approach women and attract them, and there is even a special section on relationships with info that I believe is not in any eBook out there today.
Download it now at:
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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