When it comes to attracting a woman, and especially picking up women from cold approaches from scratch, there is a cold hard reality: IT TAKES SKILL.
There are bunch of things going on, and at times, many things going on at ONCE:
Humor, dominance, leadership, bonding, trust, dealing with her friends or with the logistics of the environment, dealing with your own internal blocks, sexual escalation, changing her state, being able to decode what a woman REALLY means by her words to you when she is speaking to you in the presence of her friends, and finding the right accessories for you as well as sexualizing your wardrobe tastefully, and much MUCH more.
Unless you are a big name movie star or in luck of having model-level looks, it takes SKILL in all these areas and of course a healthy degree of guts as well to GET the girl.
This is the coolest thing, how SKILL can over-ride things like looks and wealth etc.
If you ever watch those tv dating shows, and you see a guy who is not particularly great looking, and he is getting a hottie all into him, observe closely. See, usually the guy TANKS, but it's because the guy has LAME-ASS skills and a weak vibe that is NOT attractive. Not his fault, of course, as society doesn't exactly breed guys properly for success with women, but the fact remains, he fails because of a lack of SKILLS.
You gotta realize that this stuff is very circular as well. See, the guy who is super good looking is not just good looking, he often ALSO benefits from a LIFETIME of being validated and a lifetime of experience with women. The "halo" effect where people think that good looking people are better, smarter, etc etc.
That often helps him develop the other aspects of his personality that actually lead to more experiences with women and all this stuff adds up to a VIBE that counts FAR MORE than looks alone! This is why if a guy is "good looking" but for some reason did NOT get the lifetime of validation, all his looks will still not help him with girls much. The other stuff counts MORE than looks.
And the guy who HASN'T had this validation stuff and tons of experience has a double hill to climb. But he CAN develop these skills and he can SURPASS the guys who were born lucky. But it's gonna take WORK and it's gonna take LEARNING.
But I SWEAR to you, it CAN be done. I've seen it happen in clients. It's a very proud moment for me to watch these guys.
And it doesn't have to take FOREVER.
Here's a letter from a guy who recently downloaded and read my eBook and put it into ACTION. It's not any of that "miracle" hogwash, it's just some SERIOUS progress.
***LETTER FROM A READER***
His First Breakthrough
I am way behind in my studies right now, but I had such a great time last night at a party, I feel as though I have to write you my feedback right now to get it off my chest. I wanted to wait until I closed a deal to write you, but, I had such a great time, I couldn't wait. I purchased your eBook about 5 weeks ago, but I am hoping you'll share my breakthrough with everyone in your newsletters.
Though it took six weeks, it's finally coming together. After gaining the insight, I did have an epiphany as you explained would happen. I spent most of that time rearranging my mentality, observing people, questioning them, building up courage, focusing on my goals, and beginning openers. I also realized how miserable my low self-esteem was making my life-especially when it came to women.
The more I realized how miserable I was though, the more focused I was on breaking out of the terrible slump. I was such a nice guy. My openers were horrible at first. It's very difficult to articulate, but, though my openers didn't necessarily get better, they became more natural (and are becoming).
Anyways, so I'm at the party. I am talking with my friends, and I see two girls at the laptop choosing music, but they were there for quiet awhile. They walked away and this horrible song came on, so I put another song on. I didn't know it at the time, but they had spent about 20 minutes filtering through 500 songs to create their own playlist and I had just deleted it. This girl who is gorgeous walks up to me and says, "hey, you deleted our playlist." LOL, All I was thinking to myself was, "I better effing say something, and it better not be a damn apology or some gaping smile."
So I looked at her and said, "yah, I didn't like it, and don't change my song" and walked away. Even though it wasn't my dream opener, it was so natural-it's as if I didn't even really try to say anything. LOL, you should have seen the expression on her face, like "wow, this guy actually has a nut or two to stand up for himself."
And she didn't change the song. As the night went on, she would get close to me, and I'd tease her, and she'd tease me. It was really a fun time. I had so much fun, not with the teasing so much as her rebuttals-I enjoyed the challenges she gave me, it was so attractive-I wanted her more every time she came back with something. Though my game was weak, there was some kind of connection, and we kept it up most of the time.
Also, lol, I was teasing other girls as much as I could. It became so easy. I fell into this zone where I didn't care what my friends thought (mostly because they are so apologetic). I had difficulty keeping focus because I was having so much fun with her and also the party in general. It was her trying to make eye contact with me--looking to see if I was looking.
For the first time in LONG TIME I was truly enjoying every minute that passed. Everybody was celebrating, and no one was hurting each other (I know, I know-I should be enjoying every minute anyhow, and I work on that, but you know what I mean). Like I said, I didn't seal the deal, but I didn't try to seal it for a reason; I wanted to wake up early to study and get my chores done. What a great night.
When I see a girl now, I don't think, "Man, I hope this girl gives me the time of day," but rather, I say to myself "I gottah give this gurl a tease, I want her challenge, I want to see if she's worth the time of day (I am only awake for about 16 of them). And yes, it has only been one day. Thanks for the newsletters. It's great to have those reminders.
I read the ebook mostly in one night. The next night, I finished it. And I had the epiphany, and I couldn't sleep for two days. The epiphany had more to do with how I see humans in general and my life more than it had to do with women. It was truly a good piece, and it made me think and challenge my thoughts. It was a very worthwhile investment.
I am graduating in May (that's the plan anyways), and I have to drop a lot of money on graduation. I will most likely purchase your CD's in the future. I also have a lot more to work when it comes to women. (Regarding the eBook) I thought it had a very nice flow. It's obvious that you carefully crafted your chapters. Great examples.
Okay, first of all CONGRATS on making some SERIOUS progress. And thanks for the genuine props on the eBook.
And CONGRATS on the EPIPHANY.
Get ready for the dominos to start falling, one after another, as from this epiphany each realization leads to further massive realizations. And if you think the eBook is awesome, just wait till you get to the CD set!!!!!
Let's first go over what you did RIGHT in your interaction at the party:
1. You GOT your butt OUT of the house. Seriously, this IS a huge thing. If you're used to NOT taking action, it can take huge inertia to draw up the wherewithal to overcome all the negative voices in your mind telling you to continue to do nothing so that you avoid any potential emotional pain.
(Even though of course, not taking action leads to more emotional pain, but the brain has a funny way of not thinking long term and wanting to just avoid the short term pain, so this is why I say congrats on overcoming that.)
2. You TOOK the ball and RAN with it. When she came to you and essentially OPENED YOU UP, (which by the way could be an interesting strategy of opening up girls at a party if they ever choose a song you didn't freak out but rather SAW OPPORTUNITY and showed DOMINANCE and VALUE in a way that wasn't mean but was just COOL and made sense.
You were THE MAN!
As you know, of course, it could have been FUNNIER, but it was still SOLID stuff and in fact this was the way I used to run my own game, it was pure dominance and less playful. And it worked really well too, but not as great in clubs/parties where the vibe is pure fun.
But that was years ago when I was still a bit pissed about women, so I wasn't congruent with the playful stuff right off the bat.
However, the sooner you get the playful vibe CONGRUENT to your personality, the better. Out with the chips on our shoulders, they do nothing for us or the chicks in our lives. Use the past as useful lessons, not as misery fuel.
Dominance should be MIXED with playfulness.
3. You teased her and built up the FUN vibes AND the tension (not giving into her, keeping things challenging but in a fun way), (although let us know next time the exact teases you gave!)
4. You ENJOYED her challenges, you didn't get offended or insecure, you "GOT IT" as they say. You have developed to the point that you are internally strong enough to ENJOY this. Good stuff, and a very attractive trait to the super hottest of women who "get it" too.
5. You enjoyed the party in general and socialized with plenty of other girls too. You were doing what you SHOULD be doing at a party- having fun by being in the right state. Otherwise, what the heck is a guy doing at a party. If he is ONLY there desperately looking for chicks, it's far from the best vibe. It's like the guy has no sense of FUN, it's also like he is a pure taker. He is not adding to the vibe, he just is all too serious looking for chicks.
Okay, now, here's where you could IMPROVE:
1. Even though you did a good job of running with the ball when it was presented to you, you don't want to RELY on women opening YOU up for ANY reason. Yes, women open up guys for various reasons, and there are things you can do to help increase the chances of that like wearing certain crazy types of clothing and accessories as conversation pieces, but you want to be a man of ACTION and not rely on that.
I'm not saying you would rely on that, but I want to make SURE you don't develop a weakness in APPROACHING by looking for ways out of it where women will approach you instead.
The reasons for this are not only practical in the sense of increasing your options of women to choose from, but also internally as well, you don't want to send the message to your brain that you are passive. So take action.
Okay, the next thing to improve:
2. STOP the teasing earlier. Even though it's GREAT to get to that point where you "get" how to tease and enjoy that vibe, you have to TAKE THINGS TO THE NEXT LEVEL by getting "real" as they say.
As I explain in the eBook as well, if you are going to ever proceed to getting physical, you have to develop some TRUST and more solid CONNECTION. A woman can't open up PHYSICALLY usually until she feels there is a much more solid "getting to know you" going on.
This is what comes after teasing. And by the way, teasing is not the ONLY way to establish vibe, but at parties it is usually the best way to go, since the vibe is fun.
The key is to make emotional impact, and fun teasing vibes are very sexual and also fun is very close to pleasure, and that's all close to sex, so it makes sense. But just to prevent any confusion, I want to make it clear that teasing is not the only way to open girls up, what counts is being EMOTIONALLY COMPELLING to her. But that's a whole other story, and I deal with that as well as a TON of other important topics in my CD Mastery Apprenticeship Program.
The next thing to IMPROVE on:
3. You mention you "had difficulty keeping focus because I was having so much fun with her and also the party in general. It was her trying to make eye contact" etc, etc.
Man, you HAVE to focus. What happened is NORMAL when you start. There is so much stimulation happening, and it feels so good, and also you don't want to see it all go down the toilet with a "disappointment" in case you TRY to push to the next level and you get resistance from her. So it gets harder to think, and also you don't want to LOSE that happy state by LOSING.
But what you have to do is REALIZE that success can ONLY be yours if you DO keep pushing. Of course, you do this WISELY, SMOOTHLY, but it will never GET smooth and perfect until you first GET IN THERE and do it not perfectly a few times.
DON'T GET IT PERFECT.
JUST GET IN THERE and WORK IT.
The reality is that most girls are not going to "blow you off" and be rude to you, they are just going to give you some resistance, which is FINE. You can DEAL with that too, as you will learn to finely calibrate your connection building and physical escalation with experience, and with help of the insights, strategies, and tips you get from having the Wizard here as your secret weapon.
And this leads me to the next thing you can improve on:
4. ALWAYS try to take your interaction as far as possible. You mention you had chores and studies, and I believe you, but something tells me that if you knew you could have that fine chicka with you even if it would just be for one hour, you would do it that night.
And the adrenaline rush would be so awesome that you'd have tons of energy for your chores even with less sleep, and then the next night you'd sleep like a baby. Of course, I could be wrong, and also, I DEFINITELY am against any kind of DRIVING when fatigued. So if you were going to have to drive and you would be fatigued, then I totally am with ya there in calling it quits for the night.
I have to point this stuff out because otherwise it's too easy to rationalize to ourselves out of taking full action. I'm giving you the tough love, yo. Because I wanna see you GET the girl next time.
But again, overall, congrats, you are a man of ACTION, especially when you are in an environment of friends who DON'T take action, it takes extra OOMPH to go against the tide.
And if you are reading this right now, and would like to take YOUR results with women to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL, then you ought to download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, IMMEDIATELY.
The guy right here in this email got the epiphany after completing the book in two nights. It's real, the kind of thing that charges you up so massively, you can't SLEEP for a couple of nights. Yup, sorry, but that's how powerful it is. In 6 weeks, he was already "getting it" and clearly women who are HOTTIES are seriously INTERESTED in him.
We're talking changing around an entirely wrong way of BEING and thinking that was entrenched into him over his entire LIFE, and yet in 6 weeks, major positive change has already occurred.
Now, he just has to learn exactly how to PUSH it farther to the next stage to SEAL THE DEAL. And if it's cool with him, he'll let us know how he's doing soon and let us know his next stage of progress.
Again, to get your FOUNDATION for success to women, download the eBook NOW at:
And if you have read the eBook and are ready for the NEXT level of success that will BLOW your mind, then you seriously owe it to yourself to take advantage of the three YEARS of blood, sweat and tears I put into my advanced CD program that I have just completed:
The Seduction Mastery Apprenticeship Program CD Series.
This program is the most advanced resource around, PERIOD, on how to pick up ANY woman, how to approach, how to generate ALL the emotions required from first seeing her all the way to getting under the covers, and much MUCH more. It redefines the very meaning of attraction.
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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