Thanks a million for the stuff. All I can say is, your book contains some ANTI-COMMON-SENSE.
Main concepts that work for me are:
* Keep advancing from one level to the next ASAP
* Looking in the eyes
There is one thing though. What works for me is the following:
I flirt with a girl when she is alone (at a shopping mall, club, festival), take her for a coffee after talking to her for sometime, kiss her during the coffee (or take her to a bar after the coffee and kiss her there), after that to her home and sleep with her. Now she finds herself in love with me
BUT if I just get her number after talking to her 4-5 minutes, I never see the girl again.
Can you please figure out what is going on here?
First, thanks for pointing out the stuff that’s working for you- eye contact, teasing, and MOVING FROM ONE LEVEL TO THE NEXT are all MAJOR parts of creating chemistry and being successful in your interactions with women.
The part that I’d like to focus on here, that also holds the answer to your question, is the “MOVING FROM ONE LEVEL TO THE NEXT”.
You have to ESCALATE THE HEAT.
In my eBook, I talk about getting the email or number, and if you notice, I also talk about “instant dating” her right then and there, the very first time you ever met. (The details of this can be found in my eBook, at:
Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women
The reason for this is because you always want to take an interaction as far as it can go RIGHT NOW. You don’t want to push it off unless you HAVE to for some reason, like time-constraints such as work, or other emergencies or urgent issues.
The reason for this, is because you are BUILDING chemistry and connection from SCRATCH here, so you really have to pack up some momentum and some power to make EMOTIONAL IMPACT on her. Otherwise, its too easy for her to dismiss the interaction and for it to not be relevant by the time she goes home or the next day when she wakes up.
So you see, THAT is why you are having results when you keep the interaction going, and why you are not getting results with just getting the number (or email for guys that are just going for email) after 3-4 minutes.
This is why I always say to try to take things as far as you can. This doesn’t mean that I believe that guys should try to sleep with as many women as possible. In fact, that’s not my cup of tea. The thing is, when it comes to what works, it really doesn’t matter what your goal is, whether it’s for a relationship or something more casual, it just makes way more sense to take your interaction as far as possible no matter what your goal is.
Otherwise, you end up nowhere- no relationship, nothing casual, and nothing in between either.
The thing is, you CAN often get a woman to contact you back even after just a 3-4 minute interaction, but it will require the interaction to be REALLY STRONG, either from an attraction standpoint, or even simply from a CONNECTION standpoint that she feels she connects with you on some level, (i.e. she finds out you both have something important in common) so she feels it won’t be WEIRD or awkward when she meets you or talks to you again.
So in her mind, even though she might not be attracted yet, she’s kind of neutral but interested in finding out more. And you can then make impact when you meet up again or talk on the phone.
Also, if the interaction is going well, but it really is a situation where she is busy, like a salesgirl clerk at a busy grocery store, it’s understood that there is not much time to chat there, so you don’t look like a wuss for not trying to continue it. There are a ton of factors that play into each interaction, and they all play a role in whether a 3-4 minute interaction has the strongest potential or not.
The bottom line though, is that the interaction has to register as emotionally relevant or you can forget it.
However, once you HAVE accomplished this, it really doesn’t matter whether you have her email, phone number, or you communicate by Morse Code, she will be interested in following up with you.
Yet, all things being equal, DEFINITELY you should do everything you can to ADVANCE the interaction TO THE NEXT LEVEL, to TAKE IT FORWARD.
YOU HAVE TO ESCALATE THE HEAT.
You can’t STAY in a “safe place” with a woman.
What I mean by that is that so many guys, in order to not feel the potential rejection, will stay in a “safe place” in the interaction.
They will start a conversation, and she may be showing attention and getting giggly, etc, but then the guy doesn’t PROGRESS the interaction because it might mean feeling “bad” if she rejects his advance.
So the guy stays in the “safe zone” where he avoids moving to the next step like instant dating her right then and there, and he instead decides to go for the email or number.
Or he continues the interaction, but from too far away. He avoids getting in very close to her, which he should do within moments of meeting her. He avoids this so he can HOLD ONTO that good validating feeling of at least having a woman PAYING ATTENTION to him.
This “safe zone” though is really a misnomer. It’s NOT safe at all!
In fact, staying in this “safe zone” will just BURN ITSELF OUT, leaving NO new fuel to keep the interaction ALIVE.
The “safe zone” is really just the “save my ego” zone.
The thing is, you have to take your ego OUT of this whole thing called “attracting women and having the time of your life”.
WHO CARES what happens?
You gotta know that, thank God, there are a lot of women, so even if for some weird reason things don’t work out here, it will work out on another woman! Instead of focusing on your ego, you should be focusing on the MOMENT and not thinking so much.
I hate to quote Bruce Lee movies, and sound overly deep, but here I go: “DON’T THINK.
You see, that way, you can be ENJOYING the interaction. It’s a give and take, and that’s actually where the fun and feeling good comes from.
I was reading a great book co-written by the Dalai Lama, where he says he believes that actually people are good by nature, they are nurturing by nature, and he gives the example of how even from birth, it requires both the baby and the mother to both be nurturing, or it wouldn’t work. My point is that human beings FEEL GOOD when they are giving and taking, in balance. This is what happens in any great interaction, including with a woman you are with. So just ENJOY the vibe, because THAT’S what it’s all about, TRUST ME ON THIS!!!!
Having a great interaction is actually the most natural thing in the world, it feels great, and it’s just because of a screwed up world and bad conditioning and bad beliefs that make people insecure, angry, and anti-social.
Naturally, though, the vibe is AWESOME between people. You have to tap into this.
When you are going on THIS vibe, especially when it’s with a woman you like, then you WANT to progress the interaction, simply because it feels SO GOOD that you can’t help but want to escalate it.
If you ARE going to think anything, then at least think “She is going to be NUTS about me”. Franco Columbo, one of the bodybuilding stars of the Schwarzenneger era, used to say, “I never enter any competition thinking that I am going to do anything but win.”
And just in case all the above hasn’t hammered the point into you, let me ALSO state that not only will the interaction burn itself out if you don’t advance it forward, but women will seriously get PISSED OFF at you for not advancing an interaction when it felt good. They will be both pissed that they aren’t getting to enjoy the heightening emotions, and they will be pissed that you were too much of a wuss to push it forward.
It’s as if she thinks to herself, “Hmmm, I THOUGHT he was a man, but dammit I was WRONG!! Arggghh!!!”
So you really can’t lose, because NOT escalating is definitely a mistake, always.
Now, this does not mean to act NEEDY or desperate by PLEADING for things to move forward, like ASKING HER if you can kiss her, etc. Ugh. No no no. It means that as you see she is receptive and friendly and having a good time, you make sure to escalate rather than stay in the “safe zone”.
So you have to go from phase to phase, from warming things up, attracting her, and creating a connection, to getting into more privacy, more physical contact, and so on.
And if you would like to learn about each phase, and how to move from one level to the next so that you can escalate the heat, then I seriously suggest you IMMEDIATELY download my eBook- The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, at:
Inside, you'll learn:
-How to trigger attraction instantly.
-How to approach women and create "instant dates."
-How to get physical.
-How to handle tests.
-How to create a powerful sense of connection.
-And much, much more.
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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