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I have a question for you:
What can no woman get enough of?
It’s NOT what you think.
What would you say if I were to tell you that almost NOTHING is what it seems, and that attraction is DEFINITELY one of those things?
What women cannot get enough of is SELF-ESTEEM, and they will do ANYTHING to get it, and if they already have it, (which is awesome and what I recommend to all people) they want to get more of it, they want to ENHANCE it.
In fact, all humans want self-esteem more than anything else.
For the most part, sexual attraction is just ONE MORE MANIFESTATION of this truth.
Very little of sexual desire has to do with sex itself. Instead, just like every other human emotion, sexual desire is inextricably bound with and affected by how we feel it will boost or lower our SELF-ESTEEM.
Yes, self-esteem. Self-esteem is everything.
That’s the reason people are willing to do extreme things for that feeling of self-worth. It’s the reason that people who have everything but freedom are often willing to die for that freedom.
Hold on with me here for a sec as I get a bit “deep”. Trust me that it has EVERYTHING to do with attraction.
What do people want more than sex, food, expensive houses, cars, fame, and money?
And why is it that so often SO MANY of the people that seem to have ALL those things listed above seem miserable or ruin their lives with drugs or other short term escapes that cause only more problems long term? Why is it that some people are even willing to sacrifice their health in the long run in order to get a quick desperate shot of self-esteem in the short run?
First and foremost, people want to feel GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES. A good word for this is self-esteem, but to be blunt, they just want to feel “good” about themselves. Or to be even more blunt, they just want to feel “good”/at peace, etc.
They want this feeling so badly, that they will do anything to get it. Immediately. Even if that thing will cause LESS SELF-ESTEEM later, if that is their only choice.
Now, ONCE people have self-esteem, THEN they want to experience tons of awesome emotions, ranging from excitement, curiosity, intrigue, laughter, amazement, bonding, friendship, challenge, personal and spiritual growth, etc.
Without feeling good about ourselves, without feeling this “good” feeling, we don’t care as much about the other emotions. For example, food doesn’t even taste that good when you are feeling down.
Having money, cars, houses, fame, all this only feels good if you ALREADY feel good about yourself.
If you ALREADY feel good about yourself, then you tend to ENHANCE the experience of the taste of food, or the joy of any other sensation. That’s why restaurants or fast food chains market the friendly ATMOSPHERE and the ATTITUDE just as much as the food. And of course, the food is given as much VISUAL pizzazz as possible, so that it looks VISUALLY appealing, and there is a rich SOUNDTRACK with the sound of SIZZLING steaks, CRISP lettuce, etc. All this has nothing necessarily to do with taste, but the associations with taste are there, and now planted in your mind. It’s as if you can TASTE it in your MIND. See how much of it has nothing to do with the ACTUAL taste?
These things (i.e. food) or experiences (i.e. fame) kind of ENHANCES your “feeling good”, if you already feel good, but it does not MAKE you feel good, unless you are convinced that it WILL make you feel good or that it DOES feel good. Usually, though, this convincing is temporary unless you already feel good.
Otherwise, it’s not much at all. If you are not ALREADY feeling good, these things might TEMPORARILY feel good as a distraction from yourself, and as a novelty, but they will wear thin and it’s back to not feeling good.
So let me tell you EXACTLY what this has to do with attraction.
ATTRACTION IS NOTHING MORE THAN WANTING SOMETHING OR SOMEONE THAT WE FEEL/BELIEVE WILL GIVE US AWESOME EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES.
This is why you want anything. You don’t want a fancy car because you want to drive something that costs more. You want it because you feel it will FEEL GOOD.
In fact, VERY LITTLE OF ANY EXPERIENCE has to do with the experience itself and EVERYTHING to do with what you BELIEVE THE EXPERIENCE WILL MAKE YOU FEEL.
And this, my friends, is the reason corporations spend BILLIONS OF DOLLARS every year advertising their products and services in a way that has almost NOTHING to do with the product itself, but rather with ASSOCIATING that product or service with AWESOME EMOTIONS.
And although there are MANY awesome emotions from the feeling of riding a roller coaster, to the feeling of watching a real dramatic and sometimes even bittersweet movie, what is the MOST IMPORTANT EMOTION?
That’s right, it’s SELF-ESTEEM. Or let’s just call it “feeling good about ourselves”.
When you think of Nike, do you think rubber soles and cloth?
Or do you think “Just do it”?!
i.e. SUCCESS, OVERCOMING OBSTACLES, ACCOMPLISHMENT, WINNER, ADRENALINE, EXCITEMENT.
When it’s freezing winter outside, and you pass a 7-11 with pictures of steaming coffee and hot sandwiches, you think COMFORT and the CONTRAST between how good that would feel compared to how frozen you feel at the moment.
If you pass by a store like Guess, and you notice the expressions on the people in the posters, they look like they are TOTALLY IN CONTROL, totally superior, totally desired, absolutely not needy. They almost look spaced out. What do you think THAT makes people feel? It makes them want to be as SUPERIOR and COOL AND thus “feel good about themselves” by WEARING THOSE SAME CLOTHES.
Cell phones are marketed as tools for FREEDOM, with folks climbing mountain tops and yet staying connected with the world, instead of marketed as what they often REALLY are- i.e. endless distractions most of the time. Also, they are marketed as ways to keep FRIENDSHIPS and FAMILY BONDS.
Hmmm, so I guess if you DON’T use one, you’re GUILTY of not being a friendly person or caring about your family.
And that would mean low self esteem.
By the way, I’m not here to bash advertising, I used to create ads and I actually appreciate and enjoy some of it, especially the public service messages.
But my point is, LOOK AT HOW POWERFUL THE EMOTION OF SELF-ESTEEM IS.
People want it so bad, that COMPANIES ARE SPENDING BILLIONS OF DOLLARS ON MAKING PEOPLE THINK IT CAN BE BOUGHT.
And if they weren’t successful at making people believe this, these companies wouldn’t spend one PENNY on it. Trust me, profit and the free market are RUTHLESS forces, and if the “self-esteem” strategy didn’t work, they would STOP it.
Now, above and beyond self-esteem, which is the FOUNDATION without which one cannot experience all the OTHER enjoyable emotions, those other enjoyable emotions are very powerful as well.
We WANT to experience excitement, freedom, intrigue, love, friendship, bonding, etc.
And that’s why again, BILLIONS of dollars are spent associating products with these emotions. Why the heck do people need SUV’s in the city? Not that many mountains and dirt trails in the city. Yet look just a bit and you’ll find some granny driving an SUV who wouldn’t have it any other way.
We got emotions like POWER, FREEDOM, PRESTIGE, RESPECT etc, from the marketing of SUV’s.
Maybe that’s why granny loves ‘em. Or how about that car called the Intrigue? Can anyone say the name Bond, that intriguing individual?
I could go on infinitely with this, so I think you get the picture here.
Okay, so get ready for the big one now, and how this DIRECTLY relates to attraction in all its forms, including sexual attraction.
Just like the way people’s desire to buy cars, running shoes, and even burgers is OVERWHELMINGLY AFFECTED by the degree to which people think those things will give them first and foremost self-esteem, and also give them all the other enjoyable emotions, SO TOO OUR ATTRACTION TO OTHERS IS BASED ON WHAT WE FEEL THAT SPECIFIC PERSON WILL MAKE US FEEL IN TERMS OF SELF-ESTEEM, and to a lesser degree, all the OTHER enjoyable emotions.
Ultimately, the greatest “attraction power” you have is actually your power to MAKE A WOMAN FEEL THAT BEING WITH YOU WOULD MAKE HER FEEL AWESOME ABOUT HERSELF.
That’s right, about HERSELF.
This is where so many guys screw up:
The ass-kissing guy comes across as HAVING NO INTRINSIC WORTH, so therefore when he acts NICE to a woman, it’s MEANINGLESS.
It doesn’t make her feel better about herself, since she figures “a guy who is not desirable desires me”.
She doesn’t feel good from this.
She doesn’t want to chase this.
Thus, there is NO ATTRACTION.
And yet, the TOTAL JERK isn’t much better, because he is such a jerk that she gives up hope of getting him to treat her well. Mind you, some very low self esteem women believe that this is as good as they can get, so they still are satisfied, though not thrilled, to have the guy at all. It’s still giving them SOME self-esteem since they tend to believe the guy must have intrinsic worth.
The idea is to make a woman feel GOOD about the thought of being with you so that she CHASES you. She has to feel that SHE would feel awesome if she could be with you.
By the way, THIS makes her enjoy sex far more than anything else. She feels you are a desirable guy, so being with you raises her self-esteem, and that high self-esteem makes her enjoy sex. I hate to use this analogy, but it’s kinda the same way you enjoy a burger more when you are in a good mood. Or better yet, the way YOU enjoy sex more when you are in a good mood and feel good about yourself.
And the irony is that the best way to make her feel good about the idea of having you is by you working on YOURSELF, especially your internal beliefs.
Since so much of attraction is based on what one projects and believes is superior, you better do a damn good job of working on your OWN beliefs about yourself, and about the world around you, and what you feel is superior and what isn’t.
Remember, this is like the MATRIX. It’s all in our MINDS.
If YOU project that someone else is superior to you, that is the reality that women will feel is true, since that is what you will project. Whoever does a better job of MARKETING their INTRINSIC SELVES as DESIRABLE, wins.
And once you do that, THEN you can begin to give her your “arsenal” of awesome emotions like laughter, intrigue, excitement, drama, etc. Then, all these emotions will mix together into one "symphony of attraction" that is OVERWHELMING.
That is what THE MAN is all about. It's all about making the best impact possible.
Hey, as guys, we all already try to do this. We wear clothes that we think are sexy. We brush our teeth. We try to do what we THINK works.
What if there was a way to take your attraction power to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL?
What if there was REALLY a way to do this, to build up the skills to give women these awesome emotions at will, that involved absolutely no hocus pocus?
What if this WHOLE NEW LEVEL involved a NEW WAY OF THINKING for yourself, a new way of communicating with women, and involved NO manipulative tactics on women?
What if I could show you a way to MASSIVELY CHANGE YOUR BELIEFS IN A SUPER POWERFUL AND POSITIVE WAY, and do it QUICKLY?
What if it everything I teach is based on SOLID PRINCIPLES, based on a concept as powerful as simply REALLY understanding women and GIVING WOMEN WHAT THEY REALLY WANT INSTEAD OF WHAT THEY DON’T WANT???????
What if what women really wanted is something the MEDIA can’t even understand, never mind TELL YOU.
What if it involved creating an EMOTIONAL PLACE SO AWESOME AND RICH WITH INCREDIBLE AND POWERFUL FEELINGS that women COMPETED with each other to get a chance at being with you?
If you would like to learn the healthy approach to attraction, without manipulative creepy tactics, I recommend you download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women. Inside, I show you how to get your mind in the right gear, and I explain crucial concepts about how the mind works so that you can use this in your favour. At the same time, this book also explains how to approach women and not trigger their socially programmed defenses that say, "I don't talk to guys".
You will learn how to approach women and attract them, and there is even a special section on relationships with info that I believe is not in any eBook out there today.
Download it now at:
Till next time,
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