The road to sexual attraction is paved with several obstacles, but if you have the right insights, and you practice driving on this road, you will find that the road gets smoother and smoother until you truly enjoy the ride and look forward to the drive itself just as much as the destination.
It's funny though, because once you develop, you often don't even PERCEIVE that there are obstacles, because the very WAY that you now perceive and feel, well that IN ITSELF creates the behaviours that prevent problems before they even start.
Something very strange happened to me the other day, though, that really reminded me of the things that used to mess me up with women.
It hammered home just how MISGUIDED our culture is and how it BRAINWASHES good guys to become devoid of sexuality and how it makes guys act in a way that gives them a false aura of inferiority to most women. All this is true unless the guy happens to have someone to help him out to show him the truth about these matters.
I was at the movie theatre to go check out a flick (Blood Diamond, pretty decent flick by the way) and before the movie started, on came this ad for a public service announcement:
The ad featured this chick in line for something at a fast food place and the guy behind the counter was talking down to her, i.e. stuff like "make up your mind already" and other verbal abuse, etc.
The ad then went on to say something like "Abuse, it's not something you would tolerate anywhere else, so don't tolerate it from your BOYfriend".
Anyway, I figured, ok, I know things are crazy against men these days, but men have made SOME progress, right? Right??????
Men are supposed to have made SOME strides for equality, so we can all chill out and have fun in our interactions with women rather than have a whole guilt inferiority complex. After all, as men, we kinda LIKE women, in fact we LOVE 'em. (Truth is, this fun way IS the you should act, but most guys get brainwashed otherwise.)
So I figured FOR SURE the ad was not over, that they would include some version of it for men as well. You know, vice versa, to say that men should not to accept abuse from women as well.
That was IT.
As far as the ad was concerned, ALL WOMEN are saints!!!!! Women couldn't POSSIBLY abuse guys!!!!! There's no need for an ad for guys to watch out for women! For guys to gain self-esteem. As far as the ad was concerned, it's men who need to mind their manners and be more careful around women, as if most men weren't ALREADY stumbling upon what words to SAY to a woman.
As I was sitting in my seat, I was wondering how many guys who were ALREADY having a tough time with women because they felt nervous about approaching them, or because they felt "lucky" to be with some girl who is not treating him right, were now made to feel GUILTY for NOTHING, and were now going to start kissing up even MORE and come across as MORE BORING, more needy, less FUN, more inferior, and thus make their problems worse in their sex lives, relationship lives, or any thing else they have to do with women.
The CRAZIEST part of all this is that the reality is that when it comes to EMOTIONAL abuse, verbal abuse, in all likelihood it is women who abuse men WAY more often than vice versa.
Can you name the last time a girl did the homework of some GUY hoping she would like him?
The last time a GIRL killed herself because of some GUY?
The last time a GIRL stayed SINGLE for a long time after a breakup with her boyfriend?
The last time a GIRL spent TONS OF CASH on a GUY for nothing?
The last time a GIRL got "led on" by a guy?
In general, ALL this stuff happens way more from WOMEN to GUYS, not from GUYS to women.
Now, when it comes to physical abuse, which is also inexcusable, there's probably more men that are guilty of this, but even this is hard to know, as a guy will not easily go to report it when his girl throws a chair at him, scratches him and gives him scars, etc.
Look, I'm not here to debate who is WORSE or who is BETTER.
What I'm here to say is that the FACT IS guys are being BRAINWASHED to feel that women must be treated as SUPERIOR. And guys are brainwashed to feel guilty towards the treatment of women.
So men end up acting in a way that unfortunately short circuits attraction. Men end up holding back all the natural fun/confident/sexual/dominant/social/compelling emotions that men would otherwise exude.
And women are NOT given the same kind of brainwashing at ALL. So women behave in a way that only ENHANCES attraction. They tend to dress better, act more hard to get, pay more attention to how they are coming across, often practice their social skills more than men, etc. Plus, women have learned how to exude sexuality without being "easy".
And of course this results in women having many OPTIONS with men, which skyrockets their own "inner game".
It's interesting, if I could take a guy who is just starting out in this stuff, and press a magic button that would give him a hundred girlfriends that were all calling him ten times a day and acting really needy and desperate for him, in a few days he would get a HUGE education that would teach him on very REAL emotional level what he needs to know, what he needs to EXPERIENCE.
When I say you need to not be NEEDY, I MEAN it. And the thing is, there's nothing like REALLY being in that reality to TRULY create the behaviors that flow from that reality, from being in the state of mind that comes from that reality.
And a woman who is attractive is IN that reality.
Of course, though, it's not easy for a woman who is attractive either, because what happens is that HER challenge becomes not finding guys, but finding guys that understand her wavelength, who are living the same reality of choices and therefore are cool guys who are not needy, who have their act together, are fun to be with, and yet who are still faithful. THAT'S what HER challenge is.
But the fact is, that's not what guys' challenges are: Guys have to learn to JUMP to a new way of feeling and thinking, which comes from a combination of ACTIVELY changing the way they think, plus ALSO actually changing their reality from women. This creates a never-ending cycle of improvement in both the guy's inner game and also in his actual life with women, each factor helps the other factor. The better his reality, the better his inner game, the better his inner game, the better his reality with women, the more choices, etc.
You have to do both, you have to TRAIN your emotions to be STRONGER and less needy and more fun, and you have to ALSO be meeting women and practicing, so that you can GET TANGIBLE results as well which will help you progress internally as well. And of course, I explain this in further detail in my materials and programs.
So, along the way to achieving this, it's important to not let yourself be mentally messed up by these crazy messages that seem to indicate that most men are bad to women. It's simply NOT true.
I remember back in university, when I was getting my political science degree, (before my Ed. Degree) we were IMMERSED in the "evil of men", and not just in courses on feminism! Pretty much all around, except for courses in International Relations, we kept getting bombarded with the "evil of men" that saw evil in everything male. In fact, even the act of sex, they saw the man on top as being some kind of evil conspiracy of control.
There was even a bunch of radical feminists that had meetings where men were not allowed in! That was considered perfectly "just" by the university.
This stuff is not good for guys who believe that propaganda, especially if they are good guys who are trying to be GOOD to women.
They will be far too "antiseptic" in their pickups and interactions with women that they like, to avoid possibly being "politically incorrect".
Can you imagine what would happen if MEN had this going on?
If some male political group barred WOMEN from their meetings? Of course, cool guys know that there is nothing to hide anyway, as we aren't doing anything bad! We just like women, something that has been going on and keeping the human race alive since day one!
All the brainwashing DESTROYS the ESSENCE OF ATTRACTION, especially of the SEXUAL kind.
Attraction is about EXCELLENCE, especially SUPERIORITY.
Yet if you are feeling like you are BAD, if you feel like you OWE women, if you feel bad and guilty for your sexual desire for a woman, as if women HATED men for being sexual, then you will TOTALLY SCREW UP in your interactions with women.
You will not succeed in pickup or relationships if you follow that HOGWASH, because you are going to come across as APOLOGETIC, as SERIOUS, as DRY AND AS "SAFE" AS possible. You will SHY AWAY from FUN clothing, from COOL clothing. You will never in a million years tell a girl, especially one that is hot, a dirty joke. Because that would RISK her thinking you are one of those EVIL men, right?
And, meanwhile, all this time, women are being told "YOU GO, GIRL!!! GIRL POWER!! FOCUS ON YOUR CAREER AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT MEN, THEY WILL ALL KISS YOUR BUTT ANYWAY FOR WHAT- EVER TIME YOU MAKE FOR THEM."
Of course, ultimately, even a guy with low self esteem, most of the time, eventually, will wake up and refuse to accept this, rendering the whole feminist agenda A FAILURE.
It's also interesting how most of this crazy stuff is NOT spread by women who are attractive, because they enjoy men and sex too much to hate on men. It's usually spread by some really nasty women who look like they haven't brushed their hair or taken a shower in years. They don't even care enough to LOOK GOOD for men.
In a way, this is the craziest part of it all:
The REALITY is that most women are actually pretty GOOD WOMEN, they are in general pretty good people.
BUT because of the brainwashing and lack of skills that guys have, many guys end up becoming prey for the very WORST of women who feed off of the good guy's vulnerability.
And if the guy DOES happen to meet a good woman, he usually ends instinctively doing all the WRONG things that end up driving her AWAY. It's "instinctive" for him to do the wrong things, because his REAL INSTINCTS as a man have been virtually WIPED from his memory.
Having a sexual interest in women.
Leading the show.
Not getting emotionally swayed easily.
Not being needy.
All this stuff was traditionally stuff that men were PROUD of. Before men started to become brainwashed and feeling and acting inferior and emotionally needy and all upset. And before men put women on massive pedestals just for looking good. In the old days, a woman was judged on some logical things as well.
But guys now act in a way that is the OPPOSITE of all that smart good stuff, and they end up driving women away, so then a lot of guys THINK that all women are bad.
And my point to you NOW is, if you want to be GOOD with women, then you must OBLITERATE all this brainwashing from your mind, and you must also get the skills.
Women LOVE sex.
They just feel pressure not to act as blatantly sexual because they feel they will be judged in a bad way if they do.
Women LOVE guys who are DOMINANT but COOL about it, not guys who are dominant in a jerk way.
And if you want to help a woman feel sexual, you have to get her in the MOOD first.
This is why very often it helps to be PLAYFUL.
The PLAYFUL stuff is ESPECIALLY important when it comes to MEETING NEW WOMEN that you find in PARTY type environments, like clubs, lounges, etc. The reason for this is simple - clubs and parties are for PARTYING and for getting loosened up and relaxed and having a good time. So if you are at a club or lounge and all serious, you are being INCONGRUENT to the VENUE, and to the STATES OF MIND of all the people, including the women, in the venue.
This is why it's crucial that you don't just FORCE yourself to PHYSICALLY go to a club or lounge, but that you also learn to get into the right state of mind for going out and having a great time.
I have occasionally called this state the "Golden Calf" state, because it's so extreme, it's about abandoning all your logical thoughts and everything else except HAVING FUN and PLEASURE and REVELING IN IT.
A lot of good guys feel GUILTY about doing this. And then, they start to feel the people who ARE there are "frivolous", so he creates a PSYCHOLOGICAL BARRIER in his own mind between HIM the "saint" and all the other frivolous "heathens". But the truth is it's just a bunch of people chilling out and having fun. They're not there to discuss WORK or any thing else that is not FUN. Even if they LOVE their work, they probably still don't come to talk about it!
Once the guy learns to chill out and get the skills, and get successful with women, he LOVES the place and becomes a bigger fan that most of the women there, because it's all new to him, it's like Alice in Wonderland, or Disneyland, or, well you get the picture ;)
Now, the thing to remember is that it's not enough to just be playful and chilled out, and sexual, because women will not just say "hey, that was fun, let's jump into bed" from that.
First of all, there are LEVELS even to that stuff. There is a guy who is playful, and then there is a guy who is PLAYFUL. Similar to CONFIDENCE, guys THINK they know what confidence looks like until they SEE THE REAL THING.
And MASSIVE CONFIDENCE is not the same as being OVER THE TOP. Going too over the top just looks like a guy TRYING TOO HARD.
This is one reason my Bootcamp is such a a powerful experience, because it REDEFINES your very CONCEPT of "attractive behavior".
It's one thing to THINK you know what it looks like, sounds like, etc, it's something else to see it in PERSON, to experience it firsthand. And to have a true expert ENSURE that you are doing it RIGHT.
Especially when it comes to pickup, this all has to happen relatively quickly, as she has no clue who you are, and you have a few moments to create the right mix of emotions that will lead you down the right path with her. If the first part of the interactions SUCKS, it's usually downhill from there.
On the other hand, if you do the first part right, then it's very often just a matter of not screwing up. You just have to take the interaction from one phase to the next, but those phases will not be very difficult, as she will be READY for them. But if you don't to the first part right, then the whole thing will be very difficult.
Also, it's important to understand that the ability to create MANY DIFFERENT types of emotions is actually intertwined with attraction.
The reason for this is not only because most women need to also FEEL the emotion of connection with you, before they can go all out sexually, but also the fact is that ANY emotion, when experienced FULLY, simply FEELS POWERFUL, it FEELS TRUE, it feels important. Remember, our emotions are what REALLY give us a sense of MEANING FOR ANYTHING, so if you can't make a woman feel emotion, she is going to feel like nothing IMPORTANT is happening with you.
When you see a good movie, you FEEL something. If you saw a movie that was supposed to be about something important, but it was boring, then you really don't feel that the story was important at all.
This is what most guys do with women, they talk to the woman about things that are "important" but there is no emotional relevance, so it actually comes out to the woman that the whole thing, the whole interaction, was NOT important.
ANY emotion that you feel strongly feels IMPORTANT. Even COMEDY. If you are LAUGHING YOUR HEAD OFF, then you REALLY FEEL THAT SOMETHING FUNNY IS GOING ON, but that the FUNNY thing is IMPORTANT for other people to know too.
You could SWEAR to it, that it's something so funny that everyone should KNOW it.
This is why we want to SHARE emotions. When we feel ANY emotion strongly, we feel it is SO IMPORTANT, SO TRUE, that we FEEL it's important to SHARE it with our friends. Now you know why women have to tell all the details of her relationship with you to her friends. Especially if it's good! This of course then makes the friends jealous, and this makes her friends try to ruin your relationship, which is not the worst problem if you have tight game and the patience for it, but it's better of course to meet a girl with genuine friends and not fakers.
The bottom line is that if you are giving a woman plenty of awesome emotions and of course also giving her sex that is awesome, you are going to have one woman who is damn crazy about you.
So you have to learn how EMOTIONS work as well for ULTIMATE SUCCESS with women, especially LONG TERM success as sex is great, but it's not enough. If it was, we wouldn't have so many breakups between people who were still having great sex. Although of course, great sex helps, and actually understanding how emotions work will make sex better too, because for great sex, it helps for a woman to feel great trust so she can totally let go with you.
And great trust really means that she feels she is WORTH something and that you will not JEOPARDIZE that feeling she has with you, so that has traces back to specific dimensions of her self-esteem as well. And you can LEARN how to GIVE her this gift, as well as how to SKYROCKET your own.
In fact, if you would like to get the STRAIGHT GOODS on all this stuff, from how to meet women anywhere, to how to develop the right playful state and a killer sense of humor laced with sexuality, to how to dress to make IMPACT, to how to get into ANY state, to how to progress quickly from first approach to getting physical in a smooth way, and much, much more, then you'd be cheating yourself if you did not IMMEDIATELY order my Seduction Mastery CD Set at:
And to then TAKE THAT KNOWLEDGE and ABSORB IT AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL, so you can actually EXECUTE IT ALL in reality, you need to come out and EXPERIENCE IT at my REAL WORLD BOOTCAMP.
When you learn in person, you get to absorb the subtleties QUICKLY. It's like learning a language by MOVING to a country that speaks that language as the first language. You are going to learn FASTEST that way.
And when you sign up for my Bootcamp, you know that you are being instructed by yours truly, 100%. My patience, dedication, and perspective come from over ten years of my passion for this topic, which goes beyond just picking up women in clubs, and bookstores, but also includes mastering the art of giving women ALL TYPES of awesome emotions, which is critical for long term success with the higher quality women.
And I also believe in never ending learning, Which means that as an instructor, I am constantly looking at things from your perspective for the best way to transfer these skills to you. It's a lesson that was drilled into me while undergoing teacher training last year at one of the most rigorous programs in the country, a program that prides itself especially on its practical application for teaching in the real world. In other words, being in front of real students and teaching them with hands-on learning methods, rather than just talking about teaching.
To find out more and to contact me for a bootcamp, go to:
And if you haven't already downloaded my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, then definitely do that immediately. It's the foundation, where the journey begins.
I have spent literally YEARS learning these skills the hard way, trying just about EVERYTHING until I broke through to what really works. And the great news is that it CAN be taught, it CAN be learned.
And you can start to understand and learn by downloading my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, here:
One more thing about me- I don't just know this stuff, I know how to teach different types of people. I'm a professional and certified teacher, a graduate of one of the most vigorous teacher education programs in the world.
The way I look at it, if you are serious about improving your skills in any area, it's about getting an education in that area. With me, you are learning from someone who has BOTH the practical experience and yet also understands the best pedagogical practices for learning and teaching. This becomes even more powerful in my live coaching programs where I can meet you and get feedback from you to make sure that I explain and demonstrate things in a way you understand. And in my one-on-one programs such as my bootcamps and consultations, I will gear every SECOND of the program to suit your particular learning style.
It's a WIN-WIN situation.
Download this special book right now at:
Inside, you'll learn:
-How to trigger attraction instantly.
-How to approach women and create "instant dates."
-How to get physical.
-How to handle tests.
-How to create a powerful sense of connection.
-And much, much more.
To enrich your life with the caliber of women you deserve, visit the Dating Wizard Website:
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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