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Okay, this is going to be one of those politically incorrect articles. At the same time, I am very careful not to teeter into the land of negativity and sensationalism. Accuracy is all that I'm after.
There's a lot of confusion over that fine line between being THE MAN and being a jerk.
One of the MAIN REASONS for this confusion is because so many, many, many girls are FANTASTIC at playing the "damsel in distress" role, so good in fact that most guys cannot resist the power of the illusion. Guys HONESTLY believe that to not "kiss up" or "help out" would mean to be a JERK. And since no guy wants to be a jerk, they end up "helping out".
In REALITY however, most times, she was NOT a damsel in distress. THEREFORE, you would NOT be a jerk by NOT giving in to her tactics.
Honestly, women are AWESOME actresses. In fact, if you haven't dated a lot, you probably have NO IDEA just HOW GOOD most women are at ACTING as if they are really really sympathetic characters in tough situations where you just HAVE to feel sorry, etc.
You see, I never used to realize this. It took a lot of meetings, a lot of dating, to figure this out. I kept on thinking, at first, that I was having some kind of bizarre streak of meeting women who all just happened to be in such situations that warranted oh-so-much need.
Well, pretty soon, as I got into investigative mode, I found out that just about EVERY guy I knew had the same experience with at least SEVERAL women. The only difference among guys was how guys REACTED to this stuff.
So, for example, one girl might tell you how she needs money. And it will sound SOOOO believable. Maybe she needs it for her sickly grandmother or father, who needs a new couch, appliance, or whatever else sounds realistic. Now, the fact that as her sickly grandfather was croaking while she got it on at the local dance club or party, that was what you were not supposed to find out.
Or maybe she just had a real rough childhood where "no one wanted to be her friend, and how HORRIBLE that was", etc. Or maybe another one had a rough situation because of screwed up parents.
The bottom line is that all this stuff, EVEN IF IT IS TRUE, is irrelevant, because the MAIN GOAL of it all is NOT to share her story with you, but rather to ELICIT SYMPATHY and more importantly, to SUCK UP POWER.
And it's PURPOSELY designed to take advantage of your GOODNESS.
You see, it couldn't work if you were a total sleezebag.
And THIS is where the NICE guy gets "sucked-in" BIG TIME. In fact, sometimes even JERKS get sucked in. Yeah, sometimes even guys who are jerks to everyone else, they get SUCKED in by these girls. But DEFINITELY, the nice guys get TOTALLY TAKEN IN. That's because nice guys are PROGRAMMED to HELP people.
You see, this is the kind of stuff that needs more publicity. Not the "magic move" or "magic pick up line" tactic b.s.
It's almost as if the nice guy is thinking: "Hey, I am not an evil, mean, cold, brutal, unfeeling bastard. I will HELP her. Because if I DON'T help out, then I am a cold bastard. And I HATE cold bastards."
Little does the nice guy know that you having these thoughts is, unfortunately, EXACTLY what many women bank on.
Hey, I used to be a nice guy.
Now, I'm a good guy.
And by the way, there's a lot of screwed up guys out there as well, so no gender has a monopoly on morals. But women have already taken care of themselves for the most part, and men already live in a society where men must feel guilty for breathing. Sad thing is, it's only the GOOD guys who feel guilty, and they didn't do anything wrong.
Back to my main point:
If you're a NICE GUY, it's HARD TO BELIEVE that a woman can be DELIBERATELY planning on manipulating you with tales of woe. And the really important thing to take note of here, is that from doing it so often, women have already ABANDONED any thoughts of GUILT from doing this, long ago. Like maybe they felt guilty the first 100 times, but not after that.
That's how conscience works.
And it's called RATIONALIZATION.
This is soooooo important for nice guys to know. You see, think of it this way:
Imagine all you had to do was walk around the block with a sad face, and by the time you got home, there would be a huge slab of solid gold waiting for you on your kitchen table.
Do you know what would happen? You'd get reallllll good at that sad face. You'd get so good at it, that when people asked you what was wrong, you be totally CONGRUENT with your delivery. In fact, you wouldn't even have to LIE. You'd just FOCUS on all the SAD things you could think of, and pretty soon, you'd be the master of despondency.
Until you got home, and saw that gold. Then it would be good times, good times, again.
And so the cycle would go, everyday, just put on that old sad face, tell everyone how horrible everything is, and presto, come home to a nice slab of gold. Good times.
I know all this sounds pretty horrible, but if you can learn to look at it like I do, it's actually kind of LIBERATING and FUNNY.
With this outlook:
You no longer have to take total hogwash from girls.
You no longer have to get psychologically tortured.
You can start to see things for what they really are.
Again, only the GOOD GUYS, and the nice guys, have this serious problem. Because we want to HELP PEOPLE. And that makes us prime targets for manipulation.
I'm not an advocate of becoming all angry. Instead, adjust. EVOLVE and ADAPT and SURVIVE.
In fact, KNOWING THIS STUFF, prevents you from getting bitter, because it prevents you from getting negative treatment by women. And often, from anyone else, as well.
That's the whole reason my book is written in a very hard hitting, honest way, that is also straight forward and yet also easy to read and emblazoned with a positive attitude. And I give examples of the sense of confident humor I believe is important, so that you will see how I personally behave and think with women.
One of the greatest mistakes that guys make with women is they think that each woman THEY meet is somehow an EXCEPTION to the rule. They think, "Yeah, of course you shouldn't kiss up to girls, but look at this girl, she actually has x,y, and z, and that is soooooo saaaaaaaaad. So therefore it's okay to break the rules. What Michael says doesn't apply to me".
Are there girls who it's okay to break the rules for?
Are there girls who are just absolutely awesome who don't play any games at all?
But chances are you will NOT find such a girl easily. And even if you DID find such an awesome girl, she would respect you for knowing how to protect yourself and knowing the inside scoop about so much of what goes on in the dating world.
And by the way, this actress thing doesn't always make girls bad or evil.
It just means that you have to PREVENT them from thinking that they can use this stuff on you.
Once they KNOW that this stuff will NOT work on you, it actually ENHANCES their attraction to you. It INCREASES your SUPERIOR VALUE.
Again, picture yourself getting that gold, all you had to do was put on a sad face and act like it was all realistic. Remember, you'd get REAL good at it. Pretty soon, you would have stories, even TRUE stories, that were sad, and you would deliver them so damn well.
But you would start taking that gold for granted. That gold would suddenly feel a lot more valuable if you had to work for it.
Look, the truth is, that in REALITY, most GUYS have FAR MORE "sad stories" but because we are guys, we learn to keep our mouth shut and swallow it like a man.
But think about it, while girls get hit on, most guys are clueless how to get a date. Maybe that means GUYS should be the ones using sob stories to get what they want. Just kidding, but seriously, just IMAGINE a guy saying to a girl: "Hey, look, girl. I'm a guy, I'm kinda late bloomer compared to chicks, so I really have a lot of needs socially, to make up for my past. So what you need to do, dear honey, is be faithful to me, as I continue to have sex with every pretty thing that walks by. After all, I DESERVE to have a double standard, really, since I have been deprived, and it was SOOOOOO SAD, let me tell ya. And I really could use a good cook too, since I never enough of that fun free cooking from a woman. I mean, really, as a child, this was very traumatic to me. And also, having a conservative background and having very strict parents, I will definitely need to make up for it by having you demonstrate all the sexual gratification you will give me before I even agree to GO OUT with you once. Oh yeah, and I need romantic gifts as well, because I need to feel special."
I mean, this would sound RIDICULOUS coming from a guy, right?
But somehow, it's OKAY for a woman to make a guy pay for dinner, for vacations, to make him do favours, to flake out on him, to force him to demonstrate his commitment while she does not demonstrate hers, for him to look his best and impress her friends, etc etc. And this is not even something to do with her sympathy stories!! This is just par for the course for so many women's demands. Once the sympathy stories kick in, then the "needs" go really off the charts with the need for SPECIAL favours, SPECIAL gifts, SPECIAL ABUSE.
And what does a guy get when he agrees to get abused? Does he get appreciated, like every nice guy dreams?
No, he just gets abused MORE. And pretty soon, he's buying gifts and taking abuse from a woman who is not only telling him lies, but cheating on him too.
One of the other painful truths is that the more you submit to your weakness and give in and break these principles and allow a woman to take over and abuse you, the more and more powerful her arguments or point of view SEEMS to be. In other words, you start to really believe her more and more that her sob stories and neediness are legitimate, and you just start to also think that she is actually quite special. And thus begins the descent into personal psychological hell, for you on one hand believe you have a special woman, on the other hand she is treating you like garbage.
The reasons for these psychological phenomena are complex and vast, and I go into far greater detail in my eBook and courses, but for now, just TRUST ME.
So, my point is very, very CLEAR:
Next time you think that somehow, the woman in front of you is an EXCEPTION to the rules of you maintaining self-respect, of you being CAUTIOUS before giving over any power, THINK AGAIN.
For all intents and purposes, THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS.
Certainly not as a beginner to this game. In fact, I have even seen many "advanced" guys make this mistake, thinking that since they were "advanced", it was okay for them to break the rules, and it actually WASN'T.
And by the way, when I say rules here, I don't mean those forsaken rules that some lame women wrote in a book long ago. I mean rules of self-respect and female psychology that I explain in my eBook, courses, newsletters, and consultations.
If a woman is REALLY so exceptional as to be worthy of breaking the rules for, then TRUST ME, she will understand why you DIDN'T break the rules, and she'll respect you more for standing up for your own dignity. So for that REALLY special woman, it's even MORE important to NOT break these principles!
Again, remember, I am NOT about treating women poorly. In fact, I love women, and I believe in making a woman feel good, in making her laugh, and making her just feel awesome being in the presence of THE MAN.
It's CRITICAL that when communicating with women, you don't give off an OUNCE of negativity in your vibe.
This is about SELF-RESPECT and INSIDE knowledge, it's NOT about having a chip on your shoulder. Think of me as arming you for success, so that when you go out and meet women, you can have a really great time and avoid the pitfalls that can be hell.
If you would like to learn more about my approach to this entire topic called attraction and dating, I recommend you take advantage of my diverse services. My philosophy is that true success with women, both short term and long term, requires an understanding not only of attraction itself, but also an understanding of female psychology as it is right now, based on biology and the current cultural climate. And of course, you must then take ACTION based on that understanding.
The best place to start is my eBook. Inside, you'll get the lowdown on the FOUNDATION for everything else I teach.
Get it at:
Over the course of one million years, man has adapted and evolved powerful strategies for attracting women. Now, you can learn them all in just a few hours of reading and practice.
Make the decision to become more successful with women NOW. You really can have success with women- the choice is now in your hands.
Till next time...
From someone who's been there,
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