**LETTER FROM A FEMALE READER**
quote: (from your newsletter)
"Now, women who are especially attractive are SO EXPERIENCED WITH DATING, and have gone out with SO MANY MEN, that these women have “seen it all” and are pretty darn good at telling which men are full of it and which men are the real deal."
I am shy but have been told I'm very attractive. I don't date. I don't go out with SO MANY MEN. You think because someone may be pleasing to the eye they get asked out a lot? -Think again. It's the opposite.
I also yearn for a naturally dominant man to sweep me off my feet and 'take me out of myself' but; my goodness - if you are teaching all these techniques to submissive men what happens when I bring him home from the shop so to speak!? Should I sue you for misrepresentation of product?
I'm not being deliberately fasci.. facis.. sillly :) here, but making a valid point. I want someone gentle and kind... but someone with status. Who carries it off wonderfully and who does not secretly want to be taken over my knee and told he is a naughty boy because he has a high pressure job and has to 'act' dominant all the time, when secretly he would like to be spoon fed ice cream and wrapped up in cotton wool. (and no, I'm not talking from past experience - and no - that was not just negation either).
I could go on but it's way past my bedtime - aren't you the lucky one
Goodnight.. and God bless
I don’t normally include letters from women, but I wanted to include this one to show you the danger of taking what women say literally, and also to show you how THE REAL MEANING so you can read between the lines.
So to translate, what she is REALLY SAYING is:
“I want a guy who will take Initiative IN STARTING THE CONVERSATION (“naturally dominant”) and I want a guy who will not OGLE and LEER at me but actually interact with me in a smooth high class high status manner, who will not just whistle at me and talk about me to his buddies but never actually open his mouth to talk to me, (hence the complaint about “not getting asked out”), I want a guy who HAS HIS ACT TOGETHER”
“Naturally dominant” means that women don’t have to EXPLAIN this stuff to a guy. He should KNOW how to take the initiative and lead the “dating” show. “Take me out of myself” means that he must make her feel GOOD about releasing he inhibitions and not make her feel guilty and thus initiate the physical stuff so that she doesn’t have to feel “weird” about it, it means that he has to do it all in a CLASSY way that doesn’t make her feel like a piece of trash but makes HER feel like SHE has status.
(yup, it’s all about how SHE feels of course, but that is natural for all human beings)
And regarding “status” trust me, again, all most women mean is a guy who has his
act together, is a man with a plan, who doesn’t take crap, and knows how to handle himself socially and knows how to make her FEEEEEEEEEEL feel like HE is cool, thereby making HER feel cool to be in association with him.
Sure, women SAY they want the President of the United States, but how does that explain all the guys who are everything from carpenters to plumbers to lawyers to teachers to paramedics to tellers to you-name-it WHO HAVE AWESOME SUCCESS WITH WOMEN-
Status means you BEHAVE WITH STATUS and make her FEEEEEL privileged to be with you. And aim for something high in your life rather than being a lazy bum.
Does the stereotypical “status” help?
Sure it can make it easeir, but just to prove to myself that it’s not a major factor, in my previous job which was a high status job, I PURPOSELY would only pick up women who DID NOT KNOW my position. In other words, I didn’t go out with too many women from my social circle and instead relied 99 % on picking up women. And it was great, and I even had women telling me how refreshing it was to meet a guy who didn’t have to flaunt his status with women lol.
Do you GET THIS?????
In other words, what had happened, was that because I BEHAVED IN A WAY WHERE I WAS NOT IMPRESSED WITH ANYONE’S STATUS, I REMOVED THE POWER OF “STATUS” IN THE FIRST PLACE.
AND THAT, IRONICALLY, GAVE ME THE ULTIMATE STATUS.
YOU **ARE** AS YOU THINK AND DO.
Seriously, think about that for a while. And think about how FEW people can TRULY resist this forces of social pressure.
IF YOU YOURSELF CAN LEARN TO RESIST THE FORCES OF SOCIAL PRESSURE, YOU WILL CREATE A WHOLE NEW FRAMEWORK WHERE WHAT YOU DECIDE IS OR IS NOT IMPORTANT WILL BECOME HER REALITY AS WELL.
So remember to not listen to what women say VERBATIM, but the REAL MESSAGE BEHIND THE MESSAGE.
And in fact, now as The Dating Wizard, I never tell girls what I do until way way later. Although I will tell them if I think they would hate me, because I love the challenge of having a girl who hates me end up going nuts for me. To be honest with you though, most high self esteem women agree with 99.99 percent of what I write, honestly.
On with the translation:
“I don’t want an ass kisser, and I don’t want submissive men who deep down wish to be taken over the knee.”
Women are raised from childhood to be ‘RESCUED’ by their cool knight in shining armour, so a guy who needs to be submissive really ruins this fantasy. If guys could only learn to just APPEAL to this side of a woman, they could have almost any woman forever.
Their problem would be “how do I GET RID of all the excess of women now that I already have tons of women who want to spend all their time with me exclusively?”
There you have it, from their mouths to your ears, translated by your friendly neighborhood Dating Wizard.
**LETTER FROM A READER**
As 2004 ends, I just wanted to say "Thank-you!" for all the advice and the help it has given me this year in my relationships with that most formidable creature, "woman". Your ideas, approaches and TRUE understanding of male/female interaction and attraction dynamics have helped me achieve peace of mind, and a realization of how truly worthy I am as a person. I am happily married (14 years now) but because of my position and status, I've found that trying to "figure out" women and their sincerity (both personally and professionally) has been incredibly frustrating and can really deal a blow to one's self-esteem.
But, with your sage and perceptive columns/advice, which I read several times (EVERY day!!!), I have learned to "be myself" and not to have to worry about approval from anyone (especially "flaky" and insincere women who just want validation! and nothing else). Keep up the great work for us "The Man" wannabes, because your advice is dead-on balls accurate and psychologically uplifting, especially needed these days when "women" are killing us at our own game! I look forward to all your insights of 2005!
Happy New Year!!!
Love ya', Bro!
And a Happy New Year to you to, Bro! It’s awesome hearing about guys getting back their power and self-esteem, especially the good guys, I LOVE this stuff!!!!
And your letter also serves as a reminder to guys out there to not get played for money by women.
Ultimately, YOUR OWN BELIEF IN YOUR OWN WORTH will create your level of sexiness, because when YOU believe in yourself, you exhibit all the signs of superiority. The funny thing is though, that that’s when you really don’t need approval from women anyway, because you’re feeling so good already, and of course as women see this attitude, they want you even more.
One more thing about the money and status thing- I always believe it’s important to be cool and behave the way you would behave if you KNEW you were the best thing on earth for a woman. So, if a guy REALLY believes that, then he KNOWS that his money isn’t that important, because it’s him. So if you are a cool guy, don’t show off anything, and don’t try to look like a cheesy guy trying to “nonchalantly” mention his cool things.
If you have tons of cash, let her find out later in a way where it was clear you were not trying to show off. If you work out and look great, let her find out later. Let all the other insecure guys show off their biceps in that needy way. If you got the bis, keep them to yourself till the moment is natural. I know this from experience.
Women have seen all the games, and they KNOW when a guy is trying to show off because he is insecure. Guys think they are gaining points but the truth is they are losing points. And if you really think about it, if you KNOW you are the best, you wouldn’t need to HINT AT IT ALL THE TIME, wouldja?
You can show STATUS in the way that COUNTS by simply being assertive being masculine and taking initiative and not doing anything that is needy or aggressive in trying to “force” something to happen. Having the basic social skills to have a fun teasing conversation that shows her she’s gonna have to be playful to play with you is always nice.
Knowing how to escalate to the physical in a smoooth way is also really helpful.
**LETTER FROM A READER**
I was always disappointed with all these "dating gurus" because they learn only how to get to the f*&%, not how to be happy long term. You know: approach - seduce – f*&^, but what next?! Thank you very much for your lesson (all your newsletters are gold ;)), now I seem to understand what was missing in my relationships.
First of all, thanks for the positive words, I really do appreciate knowing this stuff is making a difference. Honestly, meeting the guys and hearing from them is worth more to me than a billion dollars. I know that may seem hard to believe, but at least at this point in my life, the fire burns so strong in me on this topic that I feel a bond with every good guy on the planet. I start my days early, and I end them late, and somehow I still can’t get satiate this burning desire to spread the word.
Who knows, maybe this is therapy for me.
I honestly do believe that good men have been hoodwinked by a combination of factors, not all intentional. The bottom line is that in the past, there was a TRADE OFF between men and women:
Men and women got married early, men worked and women raised the kids and everyone had a responsibility.
So a man went out, courted a woman to show he would be a good husband, gifts were a token of his ability to be a provider and care for her, and she behaved more modestly, showing her devotion and that she would be a good wife.
Of course there were plenty of screw ups happening then too, but not like the wildfire of today.
A great book on this is “A Return To Modesty”.
Well, men are still acting as if women are GIVING something, when in fact women are not giving ANYTHING.
The fact is women don’t need men’s money or gifts or favours since they are earning their own money, and have their own political and social power, if not more social power since men think they have to feel “guilty” for being a man while women flaunt it.
All this actually leads to a terrible end for women by the way- prozac, broken families, but hey, they get to drink with their girlfriends and blow themselves into oblivion this way, now that women have the wonderful privilege of ruining their lives. All this is documented very well, there was FAR LESS USE of antidepressants by women if you go back just a few generations. Also, there was far more safety on the streets for a woman, even at night, even in the cities, because more men had RESPECT
By the way, OF COURSE I’m against violence to women. I don’t need some freak taking this column into a condoning of violence. What I AM saying though is to NOT ACCEPT ONE IOTA OF BULLSHIT FROM ANY WOMAN.
Remember that these columns are especially designed for guys who have not yet read my eBook or met me in person, so I have to be kinda harsh to get the point across.
But in general, once you internalize these concepts, you learn to be very smooth and relaxed in applying them. I LOVE women, all kinds, and enjoy chatting with them even if it’s not about sex or anything like that.
Especially women that are high self esteem who live healthy lifestyles and stay away from smokes, drugs, and alcohol, and who don’t need to play incessant ridiculous validation games.
And there really are women like this out there, you just have to get yourself in the circulation to meet them.
Anyway, because of the major shifts in power and equality and social responsibilities, giving gifts and being too nice to women who haven’t EARNED it is just total bullshit.
Till this day, I get letters from guys wanting to know WHICH restaurant to take a woman to. My advice is to FORGET the restaurant and focus on making YOURSELF the event. Make YOURSELF a cool guy with a cool life and make yourself the highlight so that she wants to be with YOU more than some damn restaurant.
There is no trade off today UNLESS YOU BEHAVE AS THE MAN AND INSIST ON IT.
Not directly, as in “hey you must show me respect”.
But through your BEHAVIOURS.
Through your confident humor.
Through your teasing.
Through your high standards.
Through not giving special favours or anything “special” till she EARNS them.
Guys have to learn to hold back on all the extras, or they will absolutely get taken for a f(*&^%$ ride.
The amazing thing is what happens when you are THE MAN from the beginning. Women immediately FEEL that this guy is a guy who doesn’t take any shit, who is not bitter, who is upbeat, and who can handle them easily.
The intangible attractive power you gain from following the advice in my materials is REAL.
But in order to BE THE MAN, however, you must stay ON TRACK and hang on tooth and nail.
This is ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT TO REALIZE at those times when you think you can “afford” to veer off course. When you think that your power is so great that you can do screwy things.
But you CAN’T.
For example, let’s say you have CLEANED UP YOUR LIFE from women who have tried to abuse you, take advantage of you, etc, and now your life has women that are superior in both mind, body, and in terms of a healthy non drinking non smoking lifestyle, upbeat personality, etc.
THIS IS WHEN suddenly you will find all kinds of the WRONG WOMEN coming out of the woodwork and running after you and wanting you. WHY is this, you ask? The answer is because they sense that you don’t NEED them, that you are SUPERIOR to them, and that you have MOVED AWAY from their type. And this makes them feel INFERIOR, and they wish for nothing else but to be VALIDATED by your approval.
The problem is, ASSOCIATING WITH THESE WOMEN IN ANY FORM OR FASHION will cause a SHIFT in the “DNA” of your MENTAL PROCESSES and your STATE OF MIND.
First of all, any time you associate with anyone who has the wrong values, values that are not compatible with your own, it will cause a CONFLICT with your values, and you will experience INNER CONFLICT. This is the greatest turmoil one can experience and the source of all confusion that one experiences.
Second of all, negative people will stop at NOTHING to get YOU to ALSO experience their negativity and to get the VALIDATING from sucking you into their reality and kissing their ass.
They will cry to you.
They will pretend their life is in crisis.
They will even do some superficial nice things for you.
It’s all a sham in her effort to get VALIDATED by you, and why I keep on saying how important it is to meet a woman who is ALREADY A PRETTY CONTENT AND REASONABLY HAPPY PERSON, as YOU should be yourself as well.
It’s just the way it is. They can't help but put their negative frame on everything, because that’s the way they see the world, through jealousy, anger, insecurity, ignorance, impatience, tricks, deceit, lies, etc.
And they want you to get sucked into that, and they will treat you negatively as well. The whole thing is just one giant IMPLOSION waiting to happen.
And number three, if you allow CRAP back into your life just because CRAP wants YOU, what you are basically telling your BRAIN is that the CRAP is somehow WORTH your time. And that YOU deserve the crap, either because you are crap yourself, or because somehow this is "special" crap.
And so now you fall into the TRAP. You start spending more and more time on them, getting SUCKED into their negative reality, and you try harder and harder, yet get less and less results.
All because of human ego, your own ego telling you that no way could you have made a mistake, so you keep trying harder to prove that it all can work out.
One of the PRIMARY EXAMPLES OF THIS WHOLE PHENOMENON is when a guy becomes THE MAN, sometimes EX-girlfriends will come chasing after him.
This can be quite TEMPTING to a guy. Having girls that were evil to him suddenly now CHASING him.
All sorts of VALIDATION here.
And it SEEMS harmless.
It can be tempting to give in and go for it.
But it’s a COLOSSAL mistake. Think of it as a TROJAN HORSE. It LOOKS like a gift, it LOOKS nice. But it’s just waiting to get back inside and unleash HAVOC on your positive emotions and DESTROY THEM.
The mind is your most POWERFUL tool, not only for attraction but for EVERYTHING. It’s a tool that evolved over MILLIONS OF YEARS. But you must treat it with ULTIMATE respect and ONLY feed it the most
POSITIVE HEALTHY INPUT.
In my opinion, it’s NEVER a good idea to EVER go back to a woman who mistreated you in the past no matter WHAT THE HELL she offers you now, promises you now, says now, or does now.
In fact, when you become THE MAN, and you experience this, just let it serve as a reminder to you of your VALUE all along.
Because you see, very often a woman KNOWS she has an awesome guy, but she just takes him for granted and has “excuses” for all her horrifying behaviour.
Yes, horrifying, because when a good man is not respected while jerk offs are, that’s horrifying.
Anyway, suddenly, when the guy becomes THE MAN, the woman suddenly “figures out” how to treat him “right”.
Well guess what?
It’s too late.
If a woman comes back to you from your past, a woman who mistreated you, and she promises she has changed and all that shit, (the truth is, she only has changed because she now knows she MUST) tell her that it’s just real nice that she’s changed but that she should give her great holy new self to someone else.
Let someone else get her, the great bargain that she is.
Letting her back in is like playing with a disease. If you had a disease removed from your body, would you ever want it back even if it promised to treat you nicely this time? No, you’d just be happy that it was OUT.
So KEEP IT THAT WAY. Because honestly, NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND NEGATIVE EMOTIONS are “diseases” of the mind.
Just thank God that you are now THE MAN and that you have eradicated the crappy negative emotions like neediness and insecurity and kissing up to women out of your system.
There are billions of women on the planet, and there is no reason to go back to any woman that showed you less than 100 PERCENT respect unless you believe you are a PUNCHING BAG that deserves to be beaten down in every way.
Remember, your self-esteem is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY, don’t expect anyone else to take care of it for you. So guard your self esteem with every morsel of your willpower and strength no matter what.
That way, you will NOT have to become a bitter guy, because you will be in the position to attract only HIGH SELF ESTEEM women and you will know to IMMEDIATELY reject the warped sadistic low self esteem women out there.
Like attracts like.
If you would like to get a better understanding of how all the different aspects of attraction and female psychology tie together, then I recommend you immediately download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women.
It’s the DNA for everything else I teach, and it will show you how to approach women, get dates instantly, how to escalate to getting physical, and even has a special section on relationship tips that I haven’t found anywhere else on the planet.
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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