This is an absolutely key principle for success in Game. The caveat is that it is an advanced principle - without having spent time in the field, you may not appreciate its power. I have found that the Inverted Seduction Principle which I describe below (which is related to the NLP 'Go First' principle) has universal application for ALL people that I interact with - not just beautiful women - but also high value men, 'value connectors' (see article here, for information on 'connectors') and even friends and family.
This principle goes against some traditional game theory, but is extremely powerful. You do not consciously 'microcalibrate' when using the Inverted Seduction Principle. Nor do you plan what you are saying or try to figure out your value relative to her value. Instead, you feel, and let your subcommunications do the rest.
When talking to beautiful women, your aim is to bring her to an emotional state whereby she has feelings of attraction, emotional connection and sexual desire for you.
Now, USING TRADITIONAL GAME THEORY, in order to do this, you should: tell her DHV stories, get social proof, throw negs, tease her, banter, use IVDs, role plays, qualification hoops, stories etc etc etc. I don't know about you, but my brain has difficulty in handling all of that at once. It is proven that the conscious mind can only have one conscious thought at any one time... and you have to think about all of these things at once for her to become attracted? Was God really that cruel!?
To add to this, when and if you TRY to think about all these things that you need to do, typically the following happens:
1. You get nervous
2. Your mind freezes
3. You worry about what to say next
4. You wonder if what you are saying is working
5. You get anxiety (even if just a little bit)
6. You get uncomfortable
7. She picks up on the anxiety and discomfort
8. You get blown our OR the set goes to nowhere OR the attraction just isn't enough to close
CAN ANYONE RELATE?
Think about it this way - do naturals scramble their brains and frantically try to think of what to say next? Hell no. What do they do? They feel. And act.
To understand how they do this and get results, let's go briefly into the biological science of what happens in your body (and hers) when you are interacting with a woman. I think that this will enable you to see the important implications of the discovery that Braddock and I made...
Braddock, the mad scientist of game that he is, recently introduced me to the concept of ‘mirror neurons’. The scientific discovery of mirror neurons is considered to be one of the most important findings of neuroscience in the last decade (see: [ame=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror_neuron]Mirror neuron - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/ame]).
Biologically, ‘mirror neurons’ are neurons whose function it is to sense what another person is feeling and thus allow the receiver to feel the same feeling as the other person. Mirror neurons allow us to empathize. They also allow us to feel when another person is feeling discomfort. Or when another person is happy. In fact, mirror neurons are the what allow us to ‘thin slice’ (a crucially important concept in Social Circle Mastery - and if you haven't taken this seminar, you SHOULD for TGO (Ten Game Only)!).
Importantly, mirror neurons are what causes a woman to have an intuitive ‘sense’ of how we are REALLY FEELING through our sub communications, irrespective of what we are verbally expressing. They pick up sub communications and are the way that people (including beautiful women) determine what another person is like beyond what he says and how he presents himself.
As an example of mirror neurons working, HAVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE YOU COULDN'T TRUST SOMEONE, EVEN THOUGH THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG TO YOU? If you have, you'll know that although THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT PERSON, YOU DIDN'T TRUST THEM. Why? Because there was something wrong with their non-verbal communication and your mirror neurons picked up on it. As Malcolm Gladwell says, 'Whirrr click' - it is an AUTOMATIC REACTION! Now, if you have such a strong automatic reaction to a random stranger, can you imagine the power of the automatic reactions that women, who are far more intuitive then men, have when they meet a potential suitor?
Implication - The Inverted Seduction Principle
Mirror neurons cause the woman to feel what you feel. The major implication is therefore that:
The optimal way to influence the emotions, moods and feelings of others is to change your own emotions, moods and feelings instead of TRYING to make them feel in a certain way CONSCIOUSLY.
If you CHANGE YOUR OWN FEELINGS FIRST, then the other persons mirror neurons will cause that person that you are interacting with to feel what you are feeling, without them consciously knowing that their state just changed.
Some of our competitors have toyed with this concept too. For example:
• In his book The Attraction Code (which is actually a good book on seduction that I gladly recommend), Vin Dicarlo pointed out a 1971 study by R. Di Giuseppe which proved that only men who REALLY believed what they were saying when they were reading beliefs from a piece of paper had a significant impact on the women listening to them. Why is this? MIRROR NEURONS!
• RSD also coined a concept called ‘Self Entertainment’. This is a powerful concept and I am a supporter of it. They advocate to be ‘self entertaining at bars’. Why? Because if you are entertained... her mirror neurons will pick this up... and she will be too!
• Sinn says that one of the main attraction frames is fun. The principle is the same - if you are having fun, she will likely be 'infected' by your mood and will herself have fun.
These are all great principles and solid advice. The message is very simple though - if you act from a place where you are genuinely having a good time, other people's mirror neurons pick this up and allow them to feel what you are feeling when they are around you.
So, The Inverted Seduction Principle (The 'Natural Game' Principle) is:
YOU MUST GENUINELY FEEL INSIDE YOU FIRST WHATEVER YOU WANT OTHERS TO FEEL WHILE THEY ARE AROUND YOU
WRITE THIS DOWN. ETCH IT ON YOUR BRAIN. Yes, it is basic, but it has significant implications and is a big part of achieving mastery in success with women and more importantly, social situations in general.
This is why people say that ‘state’ is so important. Most dispositions and talks on state that I have heard involved jumping up and down, acting like animals, shouting, group hysteria etc which admittedly never sat right with me. What I realized was that these exercises were simply a way to facilitate A SHIFT IN YOUR CONSCIOUS FOCUS TO YOUR OWN ACTIONS, FEELINGS AND BEHAVIORS, RATHER THAN THOSE OF OTHERS. This way your attention was pried away from what everyone else was thinking and you became 'comfortable with yourself'. Instructors from various companies have used things like the herd mentality (e.g. running around the room or doing stupid things with your friends) or desensitization to social pressure (e.g. acting like an animal, doing crazy things) to achieve this shift in focus. I won't deny that these methods work. But what they really do is facilitate the Inverted Seduction Principle – i.e. AFTER DOING THESE EXERCISES, YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE HAVING FUN AND/OR BEING STUPID AND IMPORTANTLY YOUR FOCUS SHIFTS AWAY FROM WHAT OTHERS ARE THINKING AND TOWARDS HOW YOU ARE FEELING. THIS SHIFT ALLOWS OTHERS TO FEEL THE FUN THAT YOU ARE FEELING THROUGH THEIR MIRROR NEURONS. And when they feel like they are having fun, your mirror neurons pick it up and the process is thus self reinforcing.
What have we established so far? Due to mirror neurons, what you feel in front of a beautiful woman will be sub communicated even if what you say betrays a different emotion. If you are “faking” an emotion, a beautiful woman will feel it. So:
• If you want her to feel comfortable, you have to feel comfortable first.
• If you want her to have fun around you (which is a core tenet of attraction), you have to feel like you are having fun first.
• If you want her to get sexual with you, you have to get into a sexual state first.
• If you are feeling nervous or anxious or ANY sort of discomfort, she will feel this too.
See where I'm going with this? IF YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONAL STATES, YOU CAN HAVE A MASSIVE IMPACT ON THE EMOTIONAL STATES OF THOSE AROUND YOU. And when you achieve emotional state control, you can REALLY use this to your benefit.
Below I investigate some of the emotional states of selected phases of the Emotional Progression Model (and sexual escalation). This is a basic example of how the Inverted Seduction Principle can be used. A more advanced application would be, for example, getting into a highly sexual state and hitting on girls for fast pulls. This is the topic of another post though. For now, the below application should be both demonstrative and helpful:
In the early stages of the interaction (i.e. opening) your overriding priority is to ensure that your target feels comfortable that you have started a conversation with her and does not think that you are creepy, weird, needy etc. Your focus should therefore be on the feeling of being at ease as opposed to thinking consciously about which line or routine to use – this is because if YOU feel comfortable in talking to a new woman, you will project this, and your target will feel comfortable as her mirror neurons sense that you are 'comfortable with yourself'. This is why Tyler once promoted opening with things like 'I like Salad' - becomes as ridiculous as this opener is - it is how you feel, rather than what you say, that is communicated. Conversely, if you feel uncomfortable with the opening, or if you are nervous or too 'in your head' because you can't remember your opener, your target will sense that 'something is off' and will mirror that feeling. The result is that you will probably be blown out.
Once you reach the attraction phase of the interaction, you will want your target to start enjoying the interaction and having fun in your company. In this phase, you will therefore want to be coming from a place of fun (credit Sinn ), self-entertainment (credit - RSD) and enjoyment. Your positive and fun feelings will be subconsciously projected to your target and she will, through her mirror neurons, feel like she is having more fun around you.
As you escalate, if your target is not in a particularly sexual state, you will have to lead her into that state by being in a sexual state yourself. If you feel sexual, your mirror neurons will subconsciously project that state. If you are in a sexual state, you will find that you NATURALLY triangular gaze, slow down your speech and kino more. It is far easier to do this naturally rather than think of doing all of these things consciously, which would be difficult and would end up making you nervous and stifled.
In conclusion, our mirror neurons mean that we will subconsciously mirror and match the state of other people in our environment.
What we are doing with the Inverted Seduction Principle is consciously focusing on OUR OWN emotional state instead of the emotional state of others. Consequently, if you take away one thing from this article take this:
YOUR FOCUS AND AWARENESS WHEN YOU ARE 'GAMING A GIRL' SHOULD BE INTERNAL, RATHER THAN EXTERNAL. THE INTERACTION SHOULD BE ABOUT YOU AND EXPRESSING HOW YOU FEEL AND NOT ABOUT HER. THE KEY IS TO CONTROL HOW YOU FEEL. IF YOU WANT HER TO FEEL SOMETHING, YOU FEEL IT FIRST.
I'M TELLING YOU GUYS, THIS IS MONEY. IT IS ONE OF THE KEYS TO ACHIEVING NATURAL MASTERY WITH WOMEN AND A TGO LIFESTYLE.
That's all I have time for today. Admittedly, this is not the whole picture, but it is the basis of Natural Game and should be enough to make a highly positive change in your game. The full effect and implication of the Inverted Seduction Principle (ISP) is part of the Inner Game Seminar. The Inner Game Seminar goes much much deeper for a more profound effect and ties up any loose ends there may be. Also watch out for Tenmagnet's upcoming book on Natural Game! It promises to be awesome.
I hope you enjoyed the post and that it improves your success.
P.s. If you liked this post, you should definitely read the Inner Game article on Reactiveness: Inner Game: The Secret of Attractive Reactiveness. Used together, these articles should help you reach high levels of success.
P.p.s. You can also see my Classic Writings for more great free information about Game generally. I know that I don't post much, but when I do post, I try to post quality.
I'm the lead Love Systems instructor for UK and Europe. Listen to my audio interview series:
- Vol. 17 The Right Way To Learn Game
- Vol. 25 How To Be An Alpha Male
- Vol. 27 Sticking Points
- Vol. 28 High-End Club Game
- Vol. 31 9 and 10 Game
- Vol. 37 Issues In Qualification
- Vol. 47 Overcoming Physical Obstacles
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- Demonstrations Vs Verbalisations
- Direct Game
- Transition To Natural Game
- Who Cares
- Conformity Method
- Premature Ejectulation
- Improve Your Game
- Aura Mystique
- Attractive Reactiveness
- Inverted Seduction Principle
- Analysing Approaches
- State Fallacy
- Real World Attraction Tips
- Game Affect PickUp
- Personality Biggest Mistake
- Women Time Problem
- Working Too Much
- Going Out & Not Getting Laid
- Why You Not Getting Laid
- Mutual Value Escalation
- Truth About Routines
- Never Go Back To Zero
- Problem With Who Lies More
- How To Really PU
- 25 Points
- How To Be Genuine
- Playing Hard To Get
- Pro PUAs Vs Amateurs
- Think Beyond Medium
- Rewriting The Rules
- Confident Rapport
- Hook Points
- Extreme Multiple Threading
- Natural Game Vs Routine Based
- Create Sexual Vibes With Integrity
- Empathetic Listening
- Magic Lines Vs Magic Personality
- How To Be Louder
- Over Abundance
- Open Loops