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Philosophy of Happiness

Author: Richard La Ruina

In the past, before mass communication and globalisation, a person’s frame of reference was his peer group and the people he came into personal contact with.  Today, our peer group is still our primary frame of reference, but now there are also people we know of and know about, like celebrities. We come to know about these people and they can exert just as strong an influence on us as our peer group does. First the world is brought into our lives through the internet and TV: amounting to 1385 messages a day. Because our peer group is subjected to the same onslaught, we would are ‘infected’ through them, even if we could avoid it all.

Global travel means people from different cultures live in one place. In the 1900s example, the man in the village who had a full-time manual labour job, had a healthy family, and was married to a woman who he thought could be a good carer for him and their family had everything he thought life had to offer. He didn’t expect that he could ever be the factory owner, because that man was educated and had inherited wealth, unlike himself. He didn’t expect that he could be married to a beautiful or upper class woman, because he was working class and not so financially secure. He didn’t expect that he could live in a mansion, because there was no frame of reference of a normal working class person who had achieved that. 

In modern times, 90% of people are educated up to a point where they consider themselves literate. Class lines have been blurred and wealth and class no longer correlate to the same extent. Because our basic needs of health, food, clothing, and shelter are almost guaranteed, we take them for granted and they are not enough to make us happy because our frame of reference does not include contact with people who don’t have these basic needs taken care of. Wealth and success are no longer confined to inherited wealth, genius, or super hard work. Every person knows of a story of someone getting rich very quickly and easily by a method that seems in reach of the average person.

We are presented with an infinite amount of choice, which is some ways is good, and in others, isn’t. When people were born, took on the trade of their parents, and stayed in that profession until they died, and considered themselves to have had a good life if their children were married and healthy, the lack of choice meant constant contentment. People today would find it difficult to be content with a life like that, because they are aware of all the choices that now are possible. Choices make people unsure, they are unhappy with their job because they know that there are other jobs that might be better for them. If you live in the city, you know that you could live in the countryside and vice versa. 

Media. Advertising. Politics – people focussing on wealth and other distractions suits politicians. Cheap media set the agenda. Getting rich with no talent is a new phenomenon. Media mainly shows positive side of shallow materialism instead of chastising it and promoting intelligence and wisdom. There has been a degeneration of language and values. Easy money is only available to the top percentile but the whole population aspires to it. There has been a role reversal in the gender stakes with the feminisation of men and masculinisation of women. Relationships are over complicated with games and what you should/not do dictating events. Casual sex is promoted and means people in settled relationships cheat more and are not as easily satisfied with what they have.

When you buy something is a big motivating factor the expected response you will get from other people? Do you imagine what they will say when they see your new suit, electronics, jewellery? Was the need to buy this item driven internally or was it by external influence?

Your peers are your peers because they legitimise your lifestyle, the same is true for drug addicts or criminals. Whatever you do and think, you can always find similar people to legitimise it. It is common to say “but person X is even worse”. This mindset does not serve you, because it is a way of avoiding progressive change. Most people are not surrounded by positive influences. We generally do not have the grounding of a close extended family. This means that the people we use for support do not always genuinely wish us well.

Maybe if we do something they are scared to do, like make a big change, they will discourage us because it would make them feel bad if you could do it. Sure, they will support you, but probably only until you start doing better than them, and only while you continue to legitimise their life style. Try going from a party animal, recreational drug user, with no hobbies; to a serious, hard working, interesting person and still keep the same friends.

When we do not have the peer group that is positive about what we want to do, and can show us better ways to live through example, we need to make changes.  It is possible to surround yourself with models for success through books, audio courses, and media.  Knowing the stories of Edison, Da Vinci, Tesla, etc will be inspirational. This inspiration is what will allow you to break out past your perceived limits. Once you know what is possible, you will want more for yourself. Generally people stagnate and don’t progress as their peer groups will too. Try to surround yourself with models for success. After you spend an hour with someone, ask “do I feel more positive for spending that hour with that person”, in 75% of cases, the answer will be no.

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