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Page Two - Philosophy of Happiness

Author: Richard La Ruina

I have an even keel philosophy, I believe that the ebbs and flows of mood are not a necessity. You can be happy one day, and then the next day, with nothing new happening, you can be unhappy. Most people believe that it is like a sine wave, and that they are held hostage to their emotions. “Oh I am having a bad day”. There are two steps that will allow you to conquer 90% of these negative emotions that are thought of as ebbs and flows. The first is to become aware of the base cause, and the second is to be able to disassociate from the emotion and understand and control it. 

To ‘become’, you can perform the following simple task that you will find very powerful. Take a sheet of paper and write down all the things you are unhappy with about yourself (not your possessions, your self) in pencil:

I am ugly.
I am fat.
I am single.
I am lonely.
I am poor.

Notice how you feel when you write these statements, you are now at a low ebb, just as you might be any day when you “are having a bad day”. Now do the opposite and write all the positive things on a different sheet of paper.

I am a good mother
I am funny.
I am intelligent.
I am outgoing and friendly.
I am popular, and people like to be around me. 

People will have more trouble with the second list in general, because our culture does not promote bragging. Try to find as many things as you can though. Every person will be able to list at least 10 positive things about themselves. Read the positive list again. Notice how you immediately feel better, as if you are at a high ebb, and feel like you would if you were “having a good day”. How you feel from day to day is simply a matter of this changing focus. On a negative day, your focus is on the things in the negative list, on a positive day, your focus is on the things on the positive list. 

Your next goal is to restrict the things that you are unhappy about to things that you cannot change. On my personal list, the things that I cannot change all relate to physical appearance. Every person has issues with their physical appearance, no matter how attractive you might think they are. With physical appearance, it is possible to make incremental improvements. Fix your fashion sense, whiten your teeth, get a tan, get in better shape, lose weight, have a great haircut. All these will make incremental improvements that will make you happier. You will NEVER be 100% satisfied with your appearance so you need to accept yourself.

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