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A lot of guys (especially when they get into the community) go on a hard core streak of approaching loads and loads of girls – all in a very short amount of time. Some guys will go on a “30 day mission” where they’ll approach 10 women per day. Others will dedicate a certain amount of time each week for approaches over a certain period. While this can be wonderful for your game (and your sex life) ;) Unfortunately the ease of approaching women that you acquire during this marathon of activity is likely to fade. Some men, after having wonderful success, are again finding that they are having difficulty approaching women – often only a few weeks after “defeating” their approach anxiety! Also, some guys find it hard to stay motivated to find the time to go “sarging” on a regular basis…. And therefore fall back into old habits.
In this article, I will attempt to address the reasons why guys fall back into this frustrating pattern of non approach - and set out some recommendations I’ve developed over the past 2 years to minimize the risk of loosing those hard learned skills…. Here goes!
Now, what are the reasons that guys have licked AA would loose their skillset?
One major reason is simply that guys only make approaches during designated times – so when they decide they don’t have time to “Sarge” they stop approaching, and rapidly loose their newfound skills.
Guys seem to be under the misconception that they have to put time aside to go out there and meet women. Although this may be logical when it comes to, say, doing laundry - It certainly doesn’t when it comes to approaching women! You need to set apart a time when you’re allowed to approach women? When, exactly, are you not allowed? When is that last time you walked past a sign that said “No approaches please!”
I wouldn’t want to live in THAT country!! :P
Here’s the thing: If you believe you have to set time aside for something – then it’s easy to fall into a pattern where you believe you haven’t got time to do it!
Furthermore, your success rate is not determined by whether you decided you were going to go “sarging” that day or not - In fact, I’ve always found that the first few approaches I make during the day tend to have the greatest success as they seem to be the most genuine.
Some guys say “Oh, I’ll be rusty because I haven’t done an approach lately” … Hmm …. Surely that’s even more reason to do the approach!
The real secret is, not to separate “sarging time” from any other time. To be a man of PASSION that is driven by his desires! How can you not approach a woman that you TRULY desire? What’s the matter with you? Stop living in FEAR!
Other popular excuses
“I’m not sarging today, I have other stuff to do”
“I don’t have time to approach her”
“She’s not that hot anyways”
“I’m not in the mood”
“She looks busy/bitchy”
Stop that!! You can approach any woman, any time, any place. It is only in your mind that barriers exist. A huge proportion of guys simply have to get out of that pickup mentality. “We’re going to the club, to go meet girls” …. You don’t have to go ANYWHERE to meet girls!
They key is, creating opportunities in everyday life situations to meet women.
When you shop for food at the grocery market, don’t just get your food, and then proceed to the first till to pay? Forget that! Look around the store - are there any cute girls? How far into their shopping are they? Are they in are they in a rush? How long till they get to the front? Try and time it so that you’re behind them in the lineup. Then talk to them! Personally, I like to make jokes about whatever’s in their basket. If they’ve clearly got ingredients for a romantic dinner for two, I’ll be like “hmmm, single huh?” or “Romantic dinner for one?” … or if it’s like a bottle of wine and a sandwich I’ll make fun of that. “awwwww somebody’s a lonely bunny. Do you need a hug? Or - “Awww how sad. Do you need a boyfriend?” – or whatever comes to mind.
If you go to a restaurant with a friend: do you just take the table that the server gives?? Not me – I’ll check out the whole place and get seat next to come girls! Then I’ll start up a chat about what they’d guess is not poisonous, or what’s good if they’ve eaten there before - whatever!
When you get on the subway: do you just get on the first train, and take the first seat available? Pease! I’ll try and run along and check out if there are any hotties on the train. Then I’ll go and sit next to them! If the carriage I’ve chosen doesn’t have any cuties on, I’ll get off at the next stop, and get on the next carriage … and so on and so forth till I’m in a position to enjoy my journey with the company of a lovely lady! I’m ALWAYS looking for opportunities to meet women. But you have to create those opportunities!
Some of the greatest interactions I’ve had were on planes/trains with girls I’ve sat next to: these are FANTASTIC places to start up conversations. You’re sitting right there next to them for hours at a time! Hint: Take it easy and avoid the direct approach on these spots. Getting blown out at the start can make for an awkward journey. :P
When you’re walking down the street, no matter WHERE you’re going or what you’re doing – If you see a hottie, go and talk to her! Tell her how you feel. Incorporate the fact that you’re on your way to something into the opener. BLAME her for making you late!! It’s her fault for being so hot….. be honest! What’s stopping you? “HEY!! YOU’RE SO HOT YOU MADE ME SHIT MY PANTS! YOU OWE ME FOUR DOLLARS FOR NEW UNDERWEAR!!” … or just tell her the truth. “I’ve go this rule, I talk to the first gorgeous women I see every day – it makes life exciting. Hi, what’s your name?” Why not? What, you’re going to be late 5 minutes? SO WHAT? MORE EXCUSES!
Personally, I leave a half hour before I need to, when I go ANYWHERE. Because I KNOW I’ll be late. Make it a habit; GIVE yourself time to chase girls. Worst case, you’ll be somewhere early. It won’t kill you!
So, if you make this a regular life habit you’ll never have to worry about “finding time to game” or “Getting rusty” because you’re never “sarging” and you’ll never get rusty.
This is the transformation you should be aiming for. A complete melding of “the pua you” and the “real you” …. Or more like transformation….
A couple of tips for realistically getting to this place I’m speaking of: To some these will seem pretty simple. To some they may seem near impossible. In either case, sticking to these 2 simple rules will guarantee you results. U just have to push yourself and live by them no matter what.
- Always approach the first gorgeous girl you see ever day. There are no exceptions. I don’t care if she’s in her house brushing her teeth. You knock on the glass till she comes and opens the window and u tell her how smoking hot she is. I don’t care if she’s on a bus with 250 people crammed in -you talk to her.
- Play hot girl tag. This is a new thing I just came up with the other day. This is the cure for “I don’t have an opener.” Every time u see a girl, you touch her. Period. Believe me - you start doing this, things will start coming out of your mouth! Just grab her above the elbow and watch the magic happen. As soon as you SEE a girl, you walk up to her and touch her. If nothing comes to you, you’ll always have “tag, you’re it!!” … u can even explain to them you’re playing “hot girl tag” … they’ll be flattered.
Yes, getting into these habits is tricky at first – and it takes some moxy. But once you start doing it, brother I’ll tell you what -It will change your life.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO SET TIME ASIDE TO MEET WOMEN!!
GET THE CRAP OUT OF YOUR HEAD!!
Live your life.
You will see pretty girls
Go and meet to them!
I haven’t gone “gaming” in months. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t approached beautiful woman. I’m no longer a PUA… I’m just a really, really friendly guy ;)
In the meantime, check out my adventures here -> PUA London
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