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What Do I Say Next? On Vibing

Author: Sean Newman

It's a common problem.

More common than you think.

And no, for this problem, Viagra does not help.

I'm talking about running out of things to say.

Guys get good at opening a group and getting them smiling.

But then they know they have to keep talking in a fun and interesting way, and don't know how to do it.

The answer is called Vibing.

Vibing is a way of talking to a whole group that gets the comfortable with you and trusting you. Like when you meet a new person, they share a little something about themselves you can relate to, and you think "hey, he seems like a good guy."

That's your goal with Vibing. Just relate and let the group think "he seems like a good guy."

Done properly, this makes it very easy to get to real rapport in one-on-one with the girl you like.

So what are the steps and keys to vibing?

1) After you have them laughing, choose one girl from group get side by side with girl you like the most while saying to the group "I like this girl. Can I keep her."

This makes the girls comfortable, because they know which one you like, and it makes you comfortable, because now you are in as part of a couple.

2) Now vibe with whole group. Small talk.

Structure for vibing:

  • Key is always to make connections between you and them. "Yes and," not "No, but"
  • Ask small talk question
  • Get their response
  • Echo back their response, and either relate with something you know about it, or confess you don't know about it, and ask what it's like
  • Share your answer to the question and relate it back to them in emotionally relevant terms
  • Keep it fun!!!

Example of Vibing:
Standard Small talk question, "where are you from?"

They answer, "we're from Tuscany."

You reply with an echo back to show you listened to their answer, and invite them to share a little more. "Oh, you're from Tuscany. I know nothing about Tuscany. Is it a cool place? They have good ice cream, right?"

Have your answers ready to each of these questions. You answer is just a conversational thread that you relate back to them.

For example:

  • I'm from Tottenham.
  • Huge fan of Spurs football club.
  • They're good, but they never ever win.
  • Every year, I think this is the year.
  • You know what it's like when you keep hoping for something, even tho you know it will never happen?
  • Llet the girls react)
  • Like you're waiting for your boyfriend to buy you a ring?
  • That's what it's like, but its fun. like, every year, new hope.
  • Every year, I wait for the ring, and I never get it, but I love them anyways.

3) Continue to Vibe with group for as long it's going well.

4) When you're done vibing, turn to the girl you like, and say, "let me ask you a question" and turn your body slightly away from the group.

5) Then go into rapport stack.

Now if you don't have your rapport stack ready, check out this article, or do get it all honed perfectly, check out the Art of Rapport workshop.

Sean Newman

Check out the Physical Confidence Course on how to get women drawn to you by your attractive body language.

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