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With the growing popularity of negs and the so-called "negging", many men think that the using a small insult to bring a woman down is an effective strategy. There are other ways however. See this:
A huge part of the negging dogma is that men strive to have a higher value than a woman they're meeting. A man thinks, "I've got a 7 out of 10 social status, but she's an an 8.5! I've got to neg her down to my level!"
So what are your options?
1. Long term: Become legitimately higher value. This should be one of your goals. Always improve your life. I'll work on some strategies for doing this with you too, but let's get some short term solutions as well.
2. Lowering her value to increase yours: A well-timed neg or dismissal might lower her value or status, so she sees herself as a 6.5 and is desperate for the attention of your studly 7.2 self.
These are the most commonly offered solutions to the issue. Either improve in the long term, or neg her down in the short term. But lots of men, maybe yourself included, want short term results and don't like the underlying cracks in a relationship that's built on temporarily decreasing her perceived value.
Here's a third option. Take a strong leadership role and increase both of your value simultaneously.
In our first illustration, the man rated himself as a "male 7" and the girl as an "8.5". The guy could use negs, social proof, takeaways, and such to decrease her value in that particular situation to "7.5" and possibly even increase his value to an "8". Then, some logistics, some more games, some of this and that and maybe he can make something happen. But now... he's with a girl who has been brought down, and is not living up to her full capacity. In the long term, this means you've got a girl who is more likely to be insecure around you, and do little subtle passive aggressive things in your relationship...
What happens when she snaps out of the need for validation trance? I it's all just been a front, she's going to start seeing herself as better than you soon enough, and then it's time for all heck to break loose. This is a large cause of why some night game that's successful at "putting numbers on the scoreboard" is terrible at making loyal, solid, dependable girls. And many of these same guys rant about how worthless women are. When they're damaging the goods before they take them!
Here's something better. With strong leadership, you have the power to make any girl better than what she is, simply by virtue of being with her, being connected to her, being in her presence or even able to communicate some her. She can feel more sexy, more intelligent, solve problems more easily, be more dedicated, be more rational and so on.
Strong leadership brings these qualities out in people.
So, instead of you cutting that cute little 8.5 down to a 7.5, you make her into a 9.5! Now some people are saying, "Hold the phone, Sebastian! You can't be serious... I'm a 7, I can't handle the 8.5, let alone a 9.5!"
Here's the deal -
You've elevated a slightly above average girl, an " 8.5" into a really quality girl. She holds her head up higher, smiles brighter, has excellent body language and a sparkle in her eye. She feels more confident and beautiful, and she is more confident and beautiful.
Who is that dependant on? You. She feels stronger, smarter, more confident, more socially savvy, more beautiful, and more powerful around you. By virtue of elevating her up, you've shown her that you possess a rare, amazing amount of you. And what does that do for your social status? It makes you a true 10, my friend. People who can elevate others to the highest standards are seen as some of the highest value people in society.
There's an art to this, of course. When you elevate her, you're doing it because you approve of everything she's done to make herself an awesome woman, and you see her as meeting your standards. You're not trying to raise her up in order to get things from her; you're doing it because you're a leader who elevates everyone around you up. Imagine that a Brad Pitt-esque guy walks up to a girl, looks deeply into her eyes, and tells her that she carries herself so gracefully that he had to come speak with her. She'll be positively glowing, and his value has only gotten higher.
And if you're picking up everyone around you, you're getting gaining more social status too. Because you're regarded more highly, more people want to be around you. It's cyclical.
Here's a few pointers to make your leadership go more smoothly:
*Deliver your words, conversation, and especially any compliments from a position of power and authority.
This means you're not tenative: You do and say what you think, and don't waffle based on the results.
When you state something that you think, your position isn't going to change based on what they think or say. So you give a girl a compliment on her retro-yellow skirt. She says she hates it but has nothing else to wear. You smile and say, "Well, I still like it" and keep going. You don't take back what you've said, because it's true. Likewise, if she starts glowing, you don't go on and on about it. You've said what you have to say, now keep rolling.
*Judging is okay - if you're doing it as a positive leader.
Everyone judges all the time, whether they admit it or not. Even a person who prides themselves on being non-judgmental still makes spot assessments of everything they see. So... take it to the forefront. Be conscious of the fact that you're always judging, and don't be afraid to say what you think. Just remember: Your goal is to elevate people around you, so you let people know what you like, and sometimes don't like, with a smile and the expectation that they'll improve.
How to Deal With Disrespect
You're out in the club, and you see a really beautiful woman wearing a ruby-coloured, shimmering red dress. Long, soft blond hair and a pearl necklace framing her perfect neck. You go to talk to her, and she's rude! Don't put so much blame on her, Cosmo and The Rules are such poor resources for women on how to interact socially that some don't know better. But you do need to know how to deal with it...
You're going to take no disrespect. When someone puts you down, often that person is trying to their value or status by slamming yours.
Here's what you do: Don't flinch or be taken aback. Now, mentally demote the other person in value and treat them accordingly. If you can, imagine that "smoking hot 9" that just said some rude comment is transformed into a 4, and it's a rabidly ugly drunk woman slurring her words. React accordingly.
If a woman is willing, you can go to new heights together. Thrive in a partnership, and if she measures up, a relationship. Connect and have great conversations, do fun things, and both learn more about yourselves together. See sunsets and sunrises and show her things she's never seen before, and learn all sorts of wonderful things from her.
If she's rude, tell her calmly that you thought so, and move on. No emotion caught up in it. Do you get upset if someone begging for change calls you a jerk if you're in a hurry? No? Don't here either.
Always assume you are extremely high value as a man, and build off this by elevating people through confident leadership. Pick everyone you meet up, and become a better person by working with them.
This style of leadership is social excellence has been around for years. The most successful men employing it don't even seem to be trying... To your success my friend!
If you'd like to hear Mutual Value Escalation Theory in action, check out Master the Vibe; secret audio of pickups captured by top pickup artists. You'll hear us perform this, then explain it so that you can hear exactly how it works. Check it out at here.
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Sebastian Drake and Master The Vibe®
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