I just read your newsletter about having women in your life and it really rang true to me. I think too many guys discard both the usefulness and pleasure of having female friends.
It's actually something I've tried to maintain for myself, but I've had a problem with it I'd hope you could help me with. See, one thing I noticed during my college years was that there were two types of women:
1) The women I wanted to go out with but wanted to be friends with me; and 2) The women I wanted as friends but didn't want anything to do with me at all! It was very strange. There would be women I wanted to be just platonic with but they just didn't want to hang around me. However, when I pursued a girl (and didn't get her of course), she was more than happy to have me as a "good friend"
Do you have any insight into that? I'd appreciate any tips you could give me. By the way, your book is great."
-- D from San Diego, CA
Swinggcat’s response: The directions I gave in my newsletter, Having Women In Your Life, were to…
Make Five Female Friends Possessing The Characteristics Of The Type Of Woman You’d Like To Attract!
A few words of caution: Making friends with a woman does not mean figuratively shoving an estrogen suppository up your rear, making you into one of her sympathetic girlfriends who eagerly await hearing about her latest boy disaster tale. Be a man, not gimp. Treat her no different than you’d treat one of your buddies.
Also, courting a woman you’re only friends with – like, for example, buying her flowers – is probably the quickest road to squelching both the friendship and any attraction that is there. It is the equivalent of Medieval-style torturing both your ego and penis, and then having them shipped off to a euthanasia ward to be put to their demise.
In her eyes you’re acting incongruent with the conditions of the relationship you set or accepted with her – you are friends, not a married couple! But this doesn’t mean you can’t get sexual with her. Later on I’m going to reveal exactly how to do this… So Keep Reading!
Becoming friends with women you’re attracted to is one of the best investments you can make - even if you never get jiggy with them – because…
1.) You’ll become comfortable around the type of women you’d like to attract. When you’re comfortable around women your chances of attracting them are a lot higher.
2.) You’ll learn the subtleties and nuances of their psyche, giving you the power to engage and attract these types of women with ease.
3.) They’ll introduce you to their attractive friends. If a woman is your type, chances are, many of her friends are also your type. Because you’re friends with her, you’ll have the opportunity to meet and attract all of her friends – this is multi-level marketing at its best!
To answer your question: I’d capitalize on women you fell short of attracting by becoming friends with them. Not all of them. Just the ones you find attractive, inside and out.
And if any of them treat you like a dilapidated gimp, shunt them through the “exit only” door of your reality. You wouldn’t keep up a friendship with a guy who disrespected you, right?
I bet the girls you wanted a platonic friendship with weren’t really your type anyway. So don’t emotionally beat yourself senseless over this. There loss, not yours.
"What's up Swinggcat,
I can not wait till your audios come out bro. Seriously, I want to listen to them until it is fully engrained. Can you give us a hint about when they might be for sale? Out of the many I've checked out, you are the very best!
Question: I'm starting to learn how to generate attraction inside of women and it's very exciting, but it's more difficult doing it when you’re on a mission by yourself. I don't really have many male friends so I usually go out alone, which puts out a different energy vibe when you open the set.
You said you used to befriend men with game in bars. (Were there times when you went out just by yourself? What's the mindset?)
I need advise on making friends with successful 'high status'guys. Sounds retarded but I think you can feel me. Reading "How to Win Friend and Influence People" helps, but not really, in this paradoxical 'real world'. Any books or audios you recommend. Maybe you should create systems of 'how to make friends with anyone.' Then you would be the ultimate. Please help in the best way you know. Thanks."
- A from Washington
I’m going to share a story with you. A few years back, I was out at a nightclub with a friend of mine. Alas, he got violently ill and decided to go home. I had a few drinks in me and wasn’t in the mood to risk getting a DUI.
I was left with these two options: Either I could sit in my car and give myself a hypno lap dance until I sobered up or I could go back into the night club. I spent a few minutes brooding over how all of the women at the bar would look at me as if I had the words “I’m a loser because I’m alone!” written in permanent red marker across my forehead.
Then, out of nowhere, I snapped and made the decision to go into the bar. Maybe it was the alcohol talking. Maybe it was because there was a full moon out. I dunno?
I entered the bar and like a battering ram I charged headlong into the first group of girls in sight.
I ended up really hitting it off with one of them. I was digging her and she was digging me. I could just feel the sexual attraction between the both of us.
As I was holding onto her hands, I looked into her eyes and pulled her closely into me as if I was about to kiss her. I could tell she wanted to kiss me.
Instead of kissing her, I said: “You are such an awesome girl that I wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship by hooking up.”
She looked a little disappointed but acquiesced to “being only friends.” For the rest of the night I made her my wingman, helping me get several phone numbers of other women.
But here’s the kicker: I still ended up sleeping with her that night. In a bit, I’ll reveal to you how I was able to TURN A FRIEND INTO A LOVER. So keep reading.
I had a great time and have been out alone dozens and dozens of times since. Going out alone has given me some interesting insights:
1.) Having the skill to go out alone communicates to your unconscious mind that your success with women and people is not dependent on others. You’ll unknowingly give off to women an air of confidence, charisma, and power.
2.) Women see guys as losers who feel like losers for being out alone. If you communicate to women that being out alone doesn’t bother you in the slightest, they WILL NOT JUDGE YOU AS A LOSER.
3.) Going out by yourself is a surefire way to increase your success with women because… It Forces You To Interact With Lots Of Them!
Women make much better wingmen than guys. So, if I were you, I’d focus more on befriending girls you can use as wingmen to help you meet and attract other women. Most women could care less if you’re with another guy. Of course, there are exceptions – like if she’s a swinger looking to have a Ménage with you and your buddy.
However – and I don’t know if this is biological hardwiring or cultural conditioning…
Women Feel Attraction Toward Men In The Company Of Other Women.
Does this mean that if a woman sees you with other women she’ll indubitably FEEL attraction toward you? No – but she’s more likely to!
It is useful, though, to model the behaviors of guys who are successful with women. The best way to model a person is to start hanging out with them. So here’s my quick course on befriending guys who are successful with women.
Let me tell you another quick story. A little over a year ago there was a guy who tried to befriend me with the intentions of modeling me so he could improve his skills with women. For several months I blew him off because he came across a bit too eager and needy. As I saw it, he was asking for a lot from me yet had nothing to give back in exchange.
About a year later, we bumped into each other at a bar. This time he took a different approach. He immediately bought me a drink. He asked me lots of questions. I had no problem answering all of them because...
He showed me that he was genuinely grateful that I had taken the time to help him out.
Put in other words, he acted like a cool guy and demonstrated that he was genuinely appreciative about the opportunity to learn some life changing skills. After this he bought me dinner a few times.
Now we’re friends and if he wants advice on something I’ll give it to him regardless of him buying me dinner.
Follow this advice and good things will come.
"So far your book is awesome stuff!!
Here is my Q: Some of my friends have female FRIENDS (and I mean like close friends they share concerns with etc) whom they sometimes hook up with. One friend for example, has an ex who hooks up with him sometimes. These people are somehow able to keep good friendship with the girls, they talk to them often but they still have them wanting to have sex. I thought that if one is friends with a girl, it means you're like her fem buddies and no booty for you? How can one be friends with chicks without having them "put a skirt" on you and feel no attraction? Are there some special prizability rules for that?
Thanks for your time."
- A from NYC, NY.
I’ve never heard the term “fem buddy” before. LOL! Love it! I’ll have to use this.
Many a man has felt attraction toward a girl but didn’t know how to proceed because it had already been established that they were “just friends.” As she was yapping away, he stared at her vacantly, feeling sponge-brained as he hemmed and hawed over how to make the first move.
Sounds like you’ve been in a similar plight, yes? I dunno? I’ve been there truckloads of times. Several years ago, however, I discovered a secret largely unknown by most men…
Irrevocably Changing My Perspective On “Just Being Friends” With Women.
I realized the mistake most guys make is in thinking they have to coax a woman they are friends with into seeing them as a potential boyfriend before making a move on her.
Think of the guy, for example, who attentively watches and listens as his gal pal wails over her current love life; and, then, assures her that he’d make a better boyfriend than her current one. Or, to take another example, think of the guy who’s been friends with a woman for years and finally gets up the gall to tell her his true feelings.
These cases are penis suicide. They’re as damaging as wiring your wiener to an electrical outlet and then soaking it with beer…because…
They’re Incongruent With The Already Established “Just Being Friends” Condition That Has Been Set On The Relationship!
But here’s where things take a bizarre turn for the better.
Many women have no qualms about sleeping with guy friends. To many of these women, sleeping with a guy is less of a big deal than dating or becoming his girlfriend. Surprise surprise, women have sexual needs too. Even women who explicitly tell you that they are only open to having a platonic relationship are probably more open to having sex with you than you think.
I should know. Most of the women I’ve been friends with whom explicitly stated that our relationship was strictly platonic, I ended up sleeping with. When women tell men that they only want to be friends, most feel a bit disappointed – and women pick up on this.
When women say this to me, I always looked relieved as I utter, “Thank God... I’m glad you realize that you don’t have a chance with me.”
But this is solely for my own amusement because...
I Know It Is Only A Matter Of Time Before I Boink Them!
Admittedly, a big part of the reason I’m able to do this is because...
I Have Mastered The Necessary Skills For Quickly Generating Massive Attraction And Getting Physical With Women!
So here’s my advice to you: Don’t in any way, shape or form try to persuade a woman you’re friends with into dating or considering you as her boyfriend.
Work, instead, on generating attraction in her and physically escalating it to sex.
Of course, this is easier said than done if you don’t have the tools to generate attraction in her and physically escalate to sex.
This is where I come in: I’ve put together a book spelling out the exact steps for generation attraction in women and physically escalating it to sex.
I’m not one of those armchair dating gurus, spouting vague philosophies about attracting women, leaving you clueless how to get from point A to B to C.
I have heaps of experience with women. And it shows because in my book…
I systematically teach you the exact steps for generating massive attraction in women and turning that attraction into sex.
To make sure these steps are hardwired into your brain my book is chock full of examples, one of which is a real-world, word-for-word dialogue... taking you step-by-step from me approaching a woman to having sex with her a few hours later.
Maybe you’re looking for something else besides sex with women – like a fantastic girlfriend. If you don’t, however, have the skills to generate attraction, and physically put the moves on a woman, any type of success is grim.
Think back to all the times you might have gotten a girl but didn't because you were uncertain how to get from point A to B to C.
Stop letting these opportunities pass you by and start getting the results with women you want by downloading a copy of my book right now.
Your Loyal Dating Coach,
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