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Amazing! - The Retard Opener

Author: Tenmagnet

This is an opener I’ve been using here and there, mostly because it’s hilarious. I’m probably going to hell for putting this on the internet, but whatever. Retards are funny.

This opener actually works REALLY well about a third of the time, not so well another third of the time, and a third of the time the girls get REALLY pissed off and hate your guts. Generally speaking, fun, laid back women will find this hilarious, and the ones that get pissed off were pretty uptight anyways. Anyways, be warned, this is an advanced technique and I don’t recommend it to everyone.

Cajun actually uses this opener in the Keys to the Vip episode, where he has to insult the girls and recover within three minutes. He actually opens with “You guys look like a bunch of retards”. In the broadcast “retard” is actually bleeped out, and they cut out the body of the opener, but you can recognize it if you watch it.

I guess this makes this opener BANNED FROM TELEVISION!!! (Shock! Gasp!)

So, here we go

“Hey guys! Do you think that retards are funny?”

<watch their reactions… this is a good routine for learning calibration… some girls will love you right away just for asking this, some girls will be disgusted… try and adjust your performance based on that>

Ok.. so I was in the elevator this afternoon back at my hotel, and there was this little retarded kid, like with a helmet and everything. And he totally said the MOST RETARDED THING!

He says (say this in a retarded voice) “I taught if I was good, I would get some puuuding!”

At this point, about two thirds of the sets will think you’re a jerk, or will feel kind of awkward. This line that comes next is REALLY important to winning over those awkward sets… it suddenly makes the rudeness of the opener OK, and gives the girls permission to laugh. It removes the “meanness” from the opener.

And I started to laugh, but tried to hide it, and I looked at the mother… and she just started laughing at her kid!

I mean, think about it… if you had retarded kids, you’d probably have to laugh at them too.

And change the subject


Anyway, I have to give credit here to Future (retired Lovesystems Instructor), who had the “Retarded Kid” story that I stole most of this opener from.

For more opener and routines, check out the Routines Manual 1 and Routines Manual 2.

I'm a master instructor for Love Systems . Listen to my audio interview series:

Vol 6 Identity (Tenmagnet, Sinn & Future)
Vol. 12 On Seduction (Sinn & Tenmagnet)
Vol. 13 Warm Approach (Savoy & Tenmagnet)
Vol. 14 The First Five Minutes (The Don and Tenmagnet)
Vol. 16 On Value (Future and Tenmagnet)
Vol. 24 Jealousy Plotlines (Tenmagnet, Braddock, and Cajun)
Vol. 32 Role Plays (Cajun and Tenmagnet)
Vol. 43 Preventing Flaking (Tenmagnet and Cajun)
Vol. 45 Introduction to Comfort (Tenmagnet, Prestige and Cajun)

Also check out Love Systems Magic Bullets , the Routines Manual , and Routines Manual 2


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