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Background - a few things to remember
1) When BFdestroying you walk a tightrope between evoking too many bad feelings and having them anchoured to you, and getting the chick to want to dump her BF. Don't forget that your end goal is to f-close, not to break her up for some other dude to enjoy.
2) It is preferable that you don't make it appear that you want her to dump her boyfriend. Rather, make the idea appear to be something from within her (more of a Socratic thing, than a direct thing).
3) While BFdestroying, you must direct the convo. to make her prompt you to tell her how you would treat a woman. Make her work it out of you, because she's worked up, and wants to know if she's got a fair deal or not.
4) You must REFRAME all behaviour to appear like insecure nice guy behaviour.
Even behaviour that -WE- as ASFers would use on girls (such as not agreeing to LTR) is to be REFRAMED as being nice guy behaviour, as someone who is too afraid to be decisive and go for what they really want, since they are too afraid that they will lose it once they've been emotionally vulnerable (as will be explained below). All behaviour can be REFRAMED.
5) By making the guy look like a "NICE GUY", you are making him the most sexually unappealing guy conceivable. Once you've done this, there is NOTHING that he can do to get back into her good books, as you've put him into a predicament where anything that he does will be interpreted by his GF as being insecure. So, if he's too distant, and he makes up for it by buying her flowers -> he's insecure. If he's too needy, and he makes up for it by getting a life -> he's insecure. You are trying to DIFFUSE his outer glossy shell, and give the girl a window into his inner workings, so that he no longer appears "mysterious" in any way. You make her understand him so well, that she likes him more as a person, but no longer has any sexual desire for him.
6) Rather than re-explaining EVing, I'll just quote some MrSEX4uNYC archive, to give the basic frame that you're working with WHILE you are using the stuff that I'm mentioning. Without using this at the same time, my shit is USELESS:
"A major point though is that if her relationship to her boyfriend was so good, what is she doing sitting out for coffee with you? This does not need to be stated by you. It is obvious. Your job is to find out what SHE wants from you and how you plan to demonstrate that you can provide it to her through your stories about yourself. Of course you need lots of stories about yourself dealing with women in the same fashion that she likes to be handles herself. This stuff seeps in and makes her think of you as "her type" without you even complimenting her once." (MrSEX4uNYC)
What you're looking to do here is tear the guy down to a NICE GUY, while making it look like you're actually STICKING UP FOR HIM! Your goal is to make him one of those guys that a girl would go out on a date with, like as a person, and feel bad for having to LJBF at the end of the night when he tries to kiss her at the door.
So how do you do that? Almost invariably, LTRs have certain problems (which any of you who've had LTRs are morbidly familiar with):
-jealousy related spats (KEY)
-failure to commit or being too distant
-abusive behaviour (be it physical or mental)
-psychological withdrawal, to gain certainty in the relationship (ie: in LTRs each party will withdraw to see if the other will pursue periodically, to assure themselves that the LTR is solid.. this is dimestore psychology, and easily observable in any relationship)
-being irresponsible (not holding up share of chores, etc.)
-not being assertive in bed (KEY)
-being into S&M and other stuff in bed, that the girl thinks is too far out
-getting angry/frustrated when he initiates sex, and girl is not in the mood
-being too predictable, not passionate
OK, there are some basic ones. I will now break these down to show you how I would roughly respond to any of these complaints, in a way that I appear to be sticking up for the BF, but am inadvertantly BFdestroying him. This is not the sum total of the routine, but simply the raw fuel that you are employing, while using standard *** kino/bodylanguage/tonality etc. Remember, that you may not necessarily want to start escalating your sexual state, until she is convinced that her BF is lame-ass, otherwise she may potentially realize that you are trying to pull one over on her. This is not the rule, but simply something to be considered based on your evaluation of the circumstance.
"You have to understand that this guy really appreciates you, because you're probably the best girl that he ever got, or ever will get. I know that...you care about this guy (maybe sp)... but there's just a certain equilibrium where if you've done this guy a favour by being with him and he's not equipped to handle it, since he knows that he'll never get a girl like you again if he walks out, that he's just constantly frustrated and panicked that you'll leave. It's not his fault."
"You've got to understand that for this guy you are his entire world. He cares about you so much, that everything else in the world is meaningless to him. You are his only source of pleasure, and without you he knows that...he's nothing. You can't blame him, he just doesn't have anything else going for him, so he needs you."
Failure to commit:
"It's not that this guy doesn't love you. He does. Its just that deep down he has a fear that... you're too good for him... and that you'll realize it and be like, you know....you just have to dump this guy.... and then he'll be left emotionally destroyed because he made himself vulnerable. Yes yes I know that you wouldn't do that to him, but its just that with (x,y,z into consideration - bring up imbalance struck earlier in the convo) he knows that you could get other guys (SP)...like me...I just think that he's not an emotionally secure person, and you've gotta cut him some slack."
"It's not that this guy doesn't love you. Its that he loves you too much, and just can't handle it. He's not emotionally available, and because he knows that you're the best he's ever had, he can't handle all of these things that he's going through emotionally. All his life he probably wasn't very good with women, and women weren't interested in him.. So now that he's got this girl, he doesn't know how to handle it. (plus use the he doesn't want to be emotionally vulnerable, because he's such a loser ass that he can't handle it as per above etc.)
Periodic Psychological Withdrawal:
"(use combinations from material I've written.. Rather than downplaying it for the perfectly normal behaviour that it is, magnify it by making it appear to be a sign of insecurity, that is typically displayed when nice guys who can't get girls get stuck into a relationship with a girl that is too good for them)"
"Its not that this guy doesn't -want- to do these things. Its just that he's so overwhelmed by all of the things that are going on, that he just can't keep up these responsibilities. Yes yes, I know that x,y,z aren't that much, but he's not in an emotionally healthy place right now, and he just can't handle it (you mirror this against yourself, the image of a REAL/STRONG/COMPETENT man, basically trying to make him seem like a little boy)"
Not being assertive in bed (THIS IS KEY, AND IS VERY OFTEN THE BEST ONE TO USE - VERY COMMON)
"It's not that he doesn't want to excite you. It's just that he's so overwhelmed being with a girl like you, that he's not equipped to handle your sexual needs. It's like the typical case of the rich daughter who marries the labourer. At first the labourer is so exstatic to have this gorgeous girl (point to her) wanting him.. But in the end, he cheats on her with some white trash mullet haired girl, because he knows that that's who he really belongs with, and that's who makes him feel good about himself. You shouldn't hold his lack of assertiveness in bed against him, because its just a reflection of his insecurity. With the right girl, any guy can be a stud in the sack .. its not hard, you just have to take CONTROL (perhaps show some controlling kino here, to get her turned on)." then transition to some HOT sex talk, where you inadvertantly spill how much you need to take control in bed.
Guy into weird stuff in bed (S&M etc) when she hates it:
"It's not that this guy doesn't love you.. Its just that he uses these things to objectify you, because he knows that he's never had a girl like you, and probably never will once you're gone.. so he doesn't want to "make love", because he doesn't want to make himself emotionally vulnerable to you.. but he still wants sex, so he has to turn it into a perverse game, to keep his insecurities from overwhelming him"
Guy gets angry when he initiates sex and she's not interested (ANOTHER KEY ONE TO PECK AT..VERY COMMON)
"The thing is, that this guy loves you, and he's just exasperated that.... he's completely impotent to turn you on.. he just can't turn you on, and he knows that, so he gets frustrated.. Its like when you want to have sex...with me.....its like, I know that its your job to get the girl turned on. Girls need a man who knows that they want, and how to get it. When a girl says 'no', but at the same time she loves this guy (sp), it often means please turn me on more.. please, I want you to be more attentive to me.. (this totally mindfucks the girl, as it is an EXTREMELY COMMON part of the LTR cycle, that once sex becomes stagnant -> foreplay nearly ceases. Because chemically women are addicted to OXITOCINS which are released by touch, and it is more testosterone that they get from sex, most women will hate sex once it degrades to a lack of foreplay. However, most LTRs have this problem, so you must exploit it.. I'm ceasely amazed by how much girls in LTRs PERK RIGHT UP the second that you imply that you're attentive even in LTRs)
Being too predictable, not passionate:
"Its not that this guy doesn't love you. He does. Its just that he's so comfortable with you now.. and feels so close to you, that you're more like a sister to him.. Like a special sister, but someone who he doesn't feel that he has to do all these things for anymore, because your relationship is so secure and so predictable.. there's no need for all that excitement, because he knows that nothing will change.. Some guys deal with true love that way.. I dunno, for me, I think that if you really love someone, you have to do x,y,z (established earlier in convo) to keep it fresh. Like if you are really a real man who loves his woman, you have to do x,y,z to keep it fresh. But really, its not that he doesn't love you, its just that he loves you so much that he doesn't see the need."
***So, remember that you are focusing on destroying the guy's sexual appeal, by making him seem too familiar, and easy to understand. People generally get 'one-itis' for those who are challenging and hard to understand. By making the BF seem both easy to understand, and very insecure/nice/beta in the meantime, the relationship will likely not last the week.
Just remember not to be the LJBF who counsels her on her problems. Instead, you are constantly getting her worked up by doing the EVing that MrSEX4uNYC discusses in his archive. Ideally, she must be getting both turned off the guy by what you're doing, and getting turned on by YOU, and the conversation NATURALLY LEADS TO HOW YOU ARE DIFFERENT, AND -IDEAL- FOR WHAT SHE WANTS. The natural flow of conversation must indirectly lead to exposing your highly desirable qualities.
She is getting turned on by the DIRECT CONTRAST between you and her boyfriend.
You do not offer your qualities directly, but highlight them by pointing out that you understand where her BFs negative qualities are insecure. Getting her to beg you to tell her how you treat women is all the better, and if it is going well can likely be expected. Act reluctant to tell her if necessary, though not to the extent that you are sending an SOI that her getting with you is not a program that you're down with.
Once you have her worked up, use standard *** material to move in, and its a done deal.
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This article was originally posted in fastseduction.com