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Revelations for me, probably other guys thought of this..
To my mind, this is really important shit.
OK I'm lying in bed with insomnia, and I'm realizing something.
I hope this makes sense cause I'm not thinking straight, but it seems to make sense right now in my head..
QUESTION: Have you ever ran a sarge, gotten a good initial reaction, and ejected before it could go bad? Why do we do this? Are we so wanting to stay in the good mood that we established by getting a decent initial reaction from the chick, that we'd sacrifice a possible lay just to take the SURE THING that we'll stay in a good mood? Are we really like that?
ANSWER: I think that psychologically, we all cope by building a self-image for ourselves.
Teenagers will turn goth, or prep, or find cliques, or get really into a pro sports team, or get really into a certain type of music, or get involved with drugs.
We did this stuff because we struggled to find our own IDENTITY.
As we get older, we find our own identity and its typically more sophisticated than when we were younger, but its still how we GET BY psychologically (so I suppose its no better, but just further developed.. still, it gives us the illusion of superiority, which is really good enough anyway, but I'm digressing)
NOBODY likes to think of themselves as "bad with women", because we NEED to feel desirable as a FUNDAMENTAL part of our self-identity.
To feel undesirable sexually would imply MANY MANY BAD THINGS about ourselves, including bad genetics, bad personality, bad social intelligence, and many BAD BAD THINGS.
This is why when you tell guys about ASF, they freak out and get all pissy. Because to imply that they would need HELP with their desirability is to imply MANY bad things about them.
That's why guys who you can be cool to talk about practically ANYTHING with (perfectly cool guys when it comes to ANY other topic than ASF) can't take it when you say "hey man check out ASF"
***NOW KEY HERE is that the main problem with STATE CONTROL is that when we approach a woman, our fear is MASSIVELY ILLOGICAL.
In fact, fear is built to prevent us from being HURT. But IRONICALLY our FEAR of approaching women actually HURTS US, while ACTUALLY approaching HELPS US.
But yet, we feel fear.
THE REASON THAT WE FEEL FEAR IS THAT IT IS OUR WAY OF PSYCHOLOGICALLY PREVENTING OURSELVES FROM HAVING A SELF-IMAGE CRASH.
Our ego can't stand the punishment.
We have a self-image that we've developed, and it sure doesn't include being a guy who women SNUB.
Same reason that guys on here who don't really sarge but still have been on ASF for a while and have good knowledge will get all pissy at the guys who really sarge. They've developed a SELF IMAGE that they are good with women, which they FOSTER and NURTURE through this internet chat board by spreading good KNOWLEDGE, despite their own lack of EXPERIENCE. So when guys question them or post something that contrasts their theoretical knowledge, they get all pissed off and grumpy and whiny, because what they are reading is DISTURBING the internet-based system that makes them feel good with women, and therefore about themselves.
**But back to the main point, IMO a big key to state-control is RECOGNITION of fact that our fear is based on the threat to our SELF IMAGE (or ego).
Then, in RECOGNITION of this phenomenon, we have to RE-ASSESS our self-image NOT to include our desirability to women.
Because we realize that practically NO guys, even GOODLOOKING, are actually able to pickup random women on a consistent basis, in the way that we're learning to do here.
And in recognition of this REALITY about the world, we can ACCEPT that practically NOBODY is good with women, and FREE OURSELVES to do mass approaches and learn the skillset.
We have to see things AS THEY ARE, and therefore FREE OURSELVES of the threat to our self-image, since we understand that there is no CORRELATION between our self-image and any particular sarge.
In fact, our self-image should even become BRUISED when we chicken-out from approaches, because *THAT* is the real thing to be ashamed of, given that there is so little correlation between our desirability and our actual ability to pickup new random women, given the current social context of women being empowered. Having fear implies that we are STUPID, because we aren't able to make the LINK between REALITY and how it doesn't ACTUALLY correspond to our self-image in the way that we seem to NEED to delude ourselves into thinking it does (in desperate attempt to preserve our emotional well-being).
And in this RE-ASSESSMENT of our self-image, we can realize that fear of playing pickup is INSTANTLY dealt with..
We can even apply this to MANY areas of our lives, and at least make the EFFORT to recognize the MANY areas that we DELUDE ourselves, and to try to gain SELF-KNOWLEDGE that will bring us closer to equilibrium in our environments and the world that we've been thrown into.
The more that we acknowledge where we've deluded ourselves for the sole sake of preserving a FALSE self-image, the more we can IMPROVE ourselves in the REAL WORLD, and not just IN OUR HEADS.
Why do this? Because on a subconscious level we KNOW that we're lying to ourselves, and it comes through in the form of DEPRESSION.
So by aspiring and genuinely attempting to RECOGNIZE this and to gain SELF KNOWLEDGE, we begin to PURGE ourselves of this BULLSHIT, and begin to EMIT AN AURA that people will want to be around.
Notice how some people just rub you the wrong way, but you can't explain why? Notice there are some guys that EVERYONE just wants to be around?
THESE GUYS are the ones who have come closer to this equilibrium with the REAL WORLD and the one that they perceive in THEIR MINDS.
And these kind of guys have potential to be AMAZING PUAs, because they have ultimate state-control.
They are ultimately comfortable with THEMSELVES, and it comes through with women.
So yeah, all that stuff.
This is just like in CLUBS.
Go into a club, and its so DISORIENTING. Music, people, dance, drinks.
But go into that SAME club during the daytime, and then right as they turn on the music and lights, and it looks STUPID. It's just the ILLUSION that fucks us up.
So when you're in a club, try to be like Neo in "The Matrix", and see the club as nothing more than a ROOM with annoyingly loud music and annoying lights and people acting stupid and silly. Then the intimidation factor of clubs GOES AWAY.
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Tyler Durden and Real Social Dynamics®
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- Negative Feelings
- Women You Always Wanted
- Love Approach Anxiety
- An Approach To Approach Anxiety
- Overcome Nervousness
- Cure Your Fear
- Socially Awkward
- Change Your Shyness I
- Change Your Shyness II
- Change Your Shyness III
- Surrender Moment
- Overcome Approach Anxiety
- Conquering Approach Anxiety
- Defeat AA Forever
- Failure To Deploy
- Understanding Rejection
- How To Overcome Fear of Approaching Women
- Smack That Ass
- Destroy Approach Anxiety
- State Control
- Attitude For Effective Action
- Charisma Is Made Not Born