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The Bat Is Too Big

Author: David Shade

I am going to have to burrow terms from the sport of baseball. For example, a certain appendage will be referred to as a bat. You will see what I mean...

***EMAIL from Jerry:

Hello David:

I have been either blessed or burdened with a big bat. The woman I am with now has lots of trouble taking in the whole thing.

She said it feels like it's bottoming out most of the time, to a very tender area inside, leaving her with a very uncomfortable feeling.

If in the missionary position, if I slide in slowly, she's ok.

I can't go hog wild because it hurts her, but if I don't go hog wild then I find it hard to maintain a bat.

She has never had a vaginal orgasm. She has only had orgasms through clitoral stimulation.

I've been working with her trying to get her to orgasm in the "G" spot area, with no success yet.

Do you have any suggestions or positions that would make s*x more enjoyable for her and me?


She is not having orgasms in intercourse, so what's in
it for her?

Same old routine every time and she never comes. It gets boring. And the regular impaling against her tender cervix becomes downright irritating. It gets old.

If she has never had a vaginal orgasm before, forget about the G spot, go for the deep spot. Once you give her vaginal orgasms, she'll be much more interested in intercourse. You need my Manual.

But even then, you will have to choke up on your bat. You absolutely can NOT be banging against her cervix. The pang of pain will pop her out of arousal every time.

***EMAIL from Kenneth:

You may find this odd, however.. I am a 48 yr old man and get hit on by young women "all the time". Some as young as 18. I'm good looking and in very good shape from martial arts. Also I'm smart and funny and kind hearted but totally arrogant. I have no idea how to handle it. As in what to say.

Recently I met, and am falling very, very hard, for a 26 year old woman. I know she feels the same for me, but there is the age question.

Could you please give me some advice about how to handle the age difference? I really really like her, she's wonderful. And it's not about just s*x, although that would be great.

What should I do and how should I play the age difference?

This is very important to me so I would really appreciate a reply.


You are mature, good looking, cut up, smart, funny, kind hearted, and totally arrogant. No wonder young women love you!

The "age difference" is your own self limiting belief.

Ok, that was the short answer. Now for the more expansive answer.

When my girlfriend was 19, she was doing a man who was 44. She was very attracted to him because he looked like the Marlboro Man and Sam Elliot, and he was very sensual. She LIKED mature men. Hey, some women just prefer it, especially the highly sensual women. You can certainly understand why. She didn't tell anyone about their affair. It was her little secret.

She told me "For a young woman who is attracted to mature men, age is just a number."

And you should feel the same way about it too. There are MANY intelligent young women with high self esteem who like mature men. Allow them the opportunity to indulge. Oblige them.

You think there is something "wrong" with being much older than the women who find you attractive. If it's not a problem for them, it shouldn't be for you.

***EMAIL from Jeff:

Hey David,

In a recent newsletter you published, you said that there are a few categories that women slot men into, One-Night stand, The relationship, The fvck buddy, the friend, and the loser. Well I get responses on the One night stand, the fvck buddy and the relationship, but i also am seen as a friend.

I think its a great idea to be friends. aka The Friendship frame. i think its good to get to know each other as friends, whether you sleep together first or not.

First off My Intuitive skills tell me that its ok to be a friend. My buddy mentioned that when his girlfriend started to talk to him about her problems, he would tell her to stop. Is this the same or is there a different context? please assist in me seeing it. The big question is how much friend can you be without overdoing it?

Thank you David, Jeff


My girlfriend of six years is my best friend. She is my confidant. She is my counsel.

But we didn't start that way.

Yes when we met we were friendly. But we did not have "becoming friends" as our goal. We wanted to be lovers.

She saw me as a man who could make her feel powerful sensual emotions. I saw her as a woman who could appreciate the things that I was determined to teach her about herself that she never knew.

After a few months of being lovers, we become best friends. And that's how most good healthy relationships start. And that's ok.


And everybody knows it. But few admit it.

Women categorize men.

If the woman thinks that he may be a possibility for the relationship category, the woman sees the man as the masculine compliment to her femininity. The man sees the woman as the feminine compliment to his masculinity. And as they enjoy being lovers, they become close friends.

I preface the next few paragraphs by saying that I am talking about intelligent women with high self esteem.

Women are often heard saying "friends first." They are simply saying that they do not want to be viewed as just a s*x object. They want to be respected as a person, they want to be able to have an emotional relationship as well. And under those conditions, they want to have h0t passi onate s*x!

They are not really looking for a "friend." They're looking for a lover! A lover with which they can grow to become best friends.

And that's perfectly fine. And men need to understand that. And men need to operate within that context. And men can USE THAT!

I have shown in a number of previous newsletters that the "friend" thing can be leveraged to bring a woman closer to you emotionally, which can be used to bring a woman closer to you se xually. And I explained why that is so, based on the four things that a woman must have.

But too many men think that in order to get se xual, they have to avoid the "friend" thing. But that doesn't work on the intelligent high self esteem women.

If you want to develop a relationship with a woman, you damn well better respect the fact that she wants to have an emotional relationship (be able to talk to you about her challenges) while at the same time you damn well better be making sure that she sees you as a se xual interest.

Being "friendly" (allowing her to talk about her challenges) does not disqualify you as a lover. Quite the opposite. It makes you more of a possibility - IF - she sees you as a se xual interest.

Deflecting her when she wants to talk about her challenges definitely reduces your chances as her lover, even if she sees you as a sexual interest. She begins to see that you will not be capable of having an emotional relationship with her.

And certainly if you do only the "friend" thing, with no se xual interest, then you definitely will be put into the "friend" category. And it is near impossible to move from that category.

Men need to increase the "se xual interest" thing while allowing the "friend" thing to develop as an enabler of
the sexual interest. So long as both are true, the relationship will form.

I discuss exactly how to do this in my hour long Audio CD "How To Set The Foundation For A Wild Sexual Relationship."

In my next newsletter, I answer questions from three women. The news is bad, but the advice is good.

Give women incredible pleasure,

David Shade

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